You are here

Received after-thought gift--would you say something?

marigold's picture

My husband died earlier this year, and in the interest of tradition, I gave my DH's daughter, son in law, son, and grandson giftcards and homemade fudge. Our tradition was to give them cash or gift cards.

I sent these to his daughter's house by way of his son on Christmas Eve, when they always do their gifts.

I didn't hear a word from any of them until the day after Christmas, when dh's daughter messaged me on Facebook and told me that they didn't realize there were envelopes in the bag. (Yet they ate the fudge, so how did they miss seeing them?)She thanked me for them and called her brother over to get his.

When he came back home, he called up the stairs to me and gave me a gift bag that was "from his sister", but he had "forgotten" to bring it home on Christmas Eve with him.

In the gift bag was a jar candle, but there was no tag on the bag. My name wasn't written on it anywhere. It was obvious to me that my dh's daughter had taken one of her own candles and put it in a gift bag and sent it over to me to save face because they hadn't bought gifts for me.

I wasn't expecting anything because none of them has bought me a gift since I stopped going over for Christmas with my dh two or three years ago.

I simply thanked his daughter for the candle, but how stupid do they think I am?

Would you say anything to either one of them, letting them know that you know what they did, or should I just let them think they pulled one over on me?

marigold's picture

My husband always went over to her house on Christmas Eve. It was just me that stopped going after his daughter and I had a falling out.

We always gave something to all our kids and grandkids though.

Thumper's picture

I would send a pre written thank you card you buy at the drug store, sign your name, drop in the mail. This way you do not have to struggle to find words you really do not mean.

THEN send nothing else in the future to her.

Giving gifts is because you want to, not because your obligated to.