Long visits from adult sd- how to get dh to understand how hard it is for me
I’ve been married three years. I knew my adult sd was difficult and not enjoyable to be around before we married. But they live several states away and I thought it would be tolerable. DH had limited their visits to a few days until this Christmas. They came for 8 days even though when he first brought it up i pointed out that it was too long. It was absolute misery for me. Great for them as they are both lazy and do nothing. DH takes care of their 2 kids and either I cook or my in-laws (who live in an apartment in our house) or pizza/leftovers. I stayed away as much as I could but the rest of the time I wanted to scream. They want to move closer which I think would be good. Then it could be limited to a couple of hours a week plus DH could go to their house to see them and his grands. SD asked me how often they could visit if they lived closer. She said if she’s not given limits then she will take advantage of us! I dislike these people so much I don’t want to be around them at all. She sleeps until noon, sits on her fat ass, eats what she wants when she wants without tending to the needs of her whiny children. I literally hate being under the same roof with her. Her husband is no better. Anyone have tips for how to get my DH to understand how awful it is for me when they’re here so long? I don’t want it to be an us or me deal. But short of going to a hotel while they’re here (which I shouldn’t have to do) I don’t know what else to do. He reduced my stress and anxiety to a sentence “I know it’s hard at times.” Seriously? It’s complete misery!! I know he wants to be with his grands but should that be at the expense of my sanity? He wants them to love coming here like he did his own grandparents house. But with a second marriage is it logical to think things can be like that? His first wife died so there’s not the option of going to the other parent when they visit or during holidays. I don’t mind the grands being here without their parents. They behave much better for us. we don’t put up with bad behavior and they know what our expectations and limits are and therefore they tow the line. And seem much happier, too! As soon as the parents come in the room the whining starts and the yelling and screaming. I can’t take it. I’ve tried hiding but there’s no where I can go to put any distance between us. I came out of the shower one day and couldn’t even get to my clothes because she was in her fathers study which is in our bedroom. I just wanted to scream at her to get out!! Help!! I need DH to understand having them here so long only makes me dislike her more - and forget a relationship with her. Not happening!