Family Reunion + Uninvited Golden Goose
We just came home yesterday from a nice week of camping; it was great to get away except the daily every-other-hour phone calls from the Golden Eggs. We came home earlier mainly because of a family reunion tomorrow. Now I find out that the Golden Goose plus some Eggs are going to be there, and needless to say, I am super pissed!
Why do exes have to go to a “family” reunion? Don’t they understand the “ex” part?
The way the reunion works is you are strongly encouraged to bring a large dish to pass, your own drinks, and your own place settings, and pay $20 at the door to help pay for hall and catering for the day. In the past several years, the Golden Goose and Eggs showed up, never brought a dish, and never paid. Apparently, they told the person who ran the reunion to go to DH for payment, and like an idiot, DH paid a lot of money for their ignorance and laziness.
This year I was asked to run the raffle (I wonder why?!) I am already anticipating their bow-down-and-kiss-my-ass arrival attitude, and told DH there is no way in hell that we are paying for their meals, and of course, the war started.
I know the Golden Eggs should come to the reunion, but I’m really pissed that I am going to have to listen for 6-8 hours of how the Golden Goose is such a victim, or one year she acted as though she was still married to DH. I do NOT want a repeat performance of that shit!
Still, I do NOT understand why DH feels obligated to pay for his adult kids, spouses, and especially, the ex-wife when they know in advance the costs involved!
I have tried to explain to DH how I feel about us paying for their lazy asses and about the Golden Goose being there, but it goes in one ear and out the other.
Please friends - I need advice on how to remain calm (as well as be the better person) tomorrow! I’m seriously thinking about not going then I think, the bitch still wins! I may just end up becoming a participant at the bar 3 doors down!!!
The eggs won't drive with us;
The eggs won't drive with us; no room! I don't know why she's going but other to burn my ass I guess. And I agree with you about the family comment; I just don't understand and it's frustrating!
UGH this would for sure
UGH this would for sure happen if DH's family were big enough and close enough to have a reunion (MIL fawns all over the BM and SD).
I wouldn't even want to go and it would be up to my FDH if he wanted to go without me. He probably wouldn't.
If people from out of town
If people from out of town weren't staying at our house and I didn't go, then I know DH wouldn't go!
PS - I LOVE YOUR NAME!!!
Thank you, lol it was the
Thank you, lol it was the only phrase running through my mind when I signed up.
Do basically your DH pays to
Do basically your DH pays to give her a platform to put her victim show in motion. Rudiculous.
He does it once ~ he sets a cycle for future reunions.
You are definitely correct on
You are definitely correct on the platform cycle. Only I don't know who looks more like a fool - me for putting up with it or DH and his Disney "I must give all" attitude!
It's totally getting sickening!!!
THanks Miz but I won't want
THanks Miz but I won't want to be loud and rude; I don't want the focus on me; it's definitely going to be on the ex. I could never picture me and my ex at a function and he thought that "we" were still together - he would lose his little gonads!!!
I just don't want to sink to the ex's level, if you know what I mean?
This happened to me too so I
This happened to me too so I can completely sympathize. BM used to come to everything, family dinners, reunions, hell she used to show up at our house uninvited and unannounced. Even though BM left my DH 9 years ago his family still invites her to their family reunions. Luckily she has stopped going since she started dating a new guy and they appear serious. My DH is never invited to her families reunion by the way. I get that she is still family to DH's family since they were together 26 years but my feelings are hurt that they continue to invite her to the reunions. Have her over for dinner if you want to see her!
Let DH pay for them out of
Let DH pay for them out of HIS money, not your joint account. As far as the ex, make sure you look absolutely ravishing, grab DH's arm and give her a big smile. Your DH should intervene here, but hey - mine wouldn't either. Still, if I was in your shoes I'd raise holy hell with DH and his relatives. What's to lose at this point? Obviously they don't respect you as his wife. They might even be getting a bit of a thrill out of it.
everyone loves a free show
everyone loves a free show right especially front row seats!
Well, OP, since you can't
Well, OP, since you can't stop the goose from coming at this late date, at least you can talk to your hubby about not paying for the goslings. They are adults and they should pay their own way. Be sure to tell the ticket taker at the door that any one that doesn't pay doesn't get in. And, if they let them in, the cost will be on them, not you. When the establishment finds that they are going to lose $$ they won't let them in.
And, at this point, you might as well make the stand that if the goslings want to join in, they have to pay on their own. You insist on this as it happens year after year with them. As Sandye above says, what's to lose at this point. Take a stand and stick by it. Don't give a ratz butt if the goslings and goose overhear.....mooches are mooches.
I'm the ticket/raffle money
I'm the ticket/raffle money taker so like I said, it's going to be very interesting!!
No tickey - no laundry!
UPDATE - the Golden Goose and
UPDATE - the Golden Goose and the Golden Eggs didn't show!!!
Why you ask? DH reminded them last night on the phone what the cost was and an idea of what dish to bring,and we guess since DH reminded them, that's the reason they didn't come!
It was an awesome reunion and I was and still am a happy 2nd wife!
Thanks everyone!
"DH reminded them last night
"DH reminded them last night on the phone what the cost was and an idea of what dish to bring." That's the reason they didn't show. It sounds like your DH might be getting tired of paying for them too. Good for him - and good for you.
I know that's the reason they
I know that's the reason they didn't show - they are too entitled that to pay a penny would be out of their character.
I think DH knows I have been
I think DH knows I have been ready for a LONG time to let loose.
Congratulations Toywas!!!!
Congratulations Toywas!!!! This was as successful as my SS's wedding when princess SD didn't show up
And BM showed up looking like she was on the set of the show "little house of the prairie". I'm so glad your DH told them that they had to "contribute". I bet you feel good about this. So nice when they show their true colors; too cheap to bring $20 and a dish to share. Mooches!
great to hear from you my
great to hear from you my dear!
Yes it was nice to sit back and enjoy the family reunion without them there; unfortunately, most of them are in town last week and this week "visiting" or should I say eating us out of house and home. DH is SO tired of shopping, cooking, cleaning, and of course, picking up. I just go in the other room and watch TV.
Hope all is well!
Do you have any single male
Do you have any single male acquaintances? If so tell him you would like to set him up with someone, if he agrees bring him with you to the reunion and introduce them and tell the exwife he came just to meet her, one of two things will happen as long as you play it cool and innocent. , 1) she's going to be so flattered and act like a love struck schools girl and make a fool out of herself Or 2) she's going to be so pissed and embarrassed she's going to have a horrible time therefore ruining her day and she may think twice next year about going. If anyone asks why you did this just play innocent and tell them that you've noticed at previous reunions how out of place she's been and since DH has you, you thought she would feel more comfortable having a date. Even if you have to hire a male escort and tell him to keep his mouth shut and play along! Hahaha
It would be so great if the
It would be so great if the ex starting dating again. But me personally, believe that she likes to play the victim to her kids and neighbors that this "pity me" routine is down pat that she really doesn't know what else to do.
And I would NEVER subject any male friends I know to go through that torture!!! Every friend of mine (male and female) knows what I have gone through these past 15 years!
Hire an escort for the ex - not on my dime!
Yeah, I don't get the whole
Yeah, I don't get the whole exes showing up to family reunions thing, either. It's pathetic. Like MizFoxie said, run your mouth and do it LOUDLY.
If the XW/BM is uninvitred
If the XW/BM is uninvitred then call the police and have her escorted away. . Then use that to file an RO/PO to keep her away from you and DH which will keep her away from family events going forward.
Make sure the Skids see nommy being escorted out of the reunion by the police. Then have DH explain to them that their mother will no longer be allowed to interfer in his time with them or with his family. He needs to keep the kids fully informed and appropriately tuned with the facts about their toxic manipulative interfering mother. Kids need to be able to protect themselves from a toxic manipulative parent and the facts are the best tool for that.
If the SD's know mommy goes to jail if she shows up at a Dad family event or otherwise interferes with Dad or his family, including their time with him, it may tune BM up accordingly to at least not be an embarrassement for her kids. Regardless of BM's choice, DH needs to keep his proverbial hands at her throat for the duration and she needs to know that he will choke her out, figuratively of course, if she so much as twitches toward stepping out of line. The Skids need to know it all and be kept up to speed on anything and everything regarding BM's crap.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.