Called out YSD's Behavior to DH
On Thursday I was working from home and decided to pay a quick window visit to my Mom who is in a long term care home, DH is retired and had nothing going on so he drove me so we could have a quick chat through the door/on speaker phone with my Mom. While we were about to do that, DH receives a phone call on his cell phone from YSD. Since she talks really loudly, I could hear every word she said to him
She says "Hi Dad just calling to see how you guys are doing"
He says "we're doing fine but just about to visit with Disillusioned's Mom in the hospital" (slip of the tongue he meant long term home) but anyway, YSD then says she'll let him go then. She sounded ticked off or maybe just irratated. At best completely disinterested.
We visit with my Mom and are heading back and DH says that it was YSD who called, to talk with us and see how we're were doing
Now the good news is, ever since YSD's little stunt back in April (when I spent my hard earned money buying a bunch of wonderful gifts for SGD, wrapping them, mailing them along with cards from DH & I in which we both wrote some very nice things, etc... and YSD decided to invite us to a video call where they could thank us, only to have her and SGD not even acknowledge I was on the call. Not so much even as a hello or thank you to me, let alone all the nice other nice things that were said to to DH and DH only such as "Papa - you're the best" and "I love you Papa" yada yada) that was the tipping point for me and I spoke out to DH that I was not only not pleased, but I was on to this game and I was not participating any longer
So on Thursday after DH says to me how YSD was calling to talk to "us" and see how we were doing (and of course expecting me to say oh how nice how sweet like I would have in the past) I did what I've been doing since April and he doesn't like it - called a spade a spade and corrected the 'facts'
I responded by telling DH that if YSD had called on the weekend or even during evening hours then I might buy that she was calling to talk with "us" but she called instead on a Thursday morning and as far as she knows I'm at work on a weekday morning. At best I'm working from home and would be up in the office and still not really available for a chat with her so no DH, YSD did call to talk with "us". She called to talk with you and exclude me. She doesn't care how "we" are doing other than to get the scoop on us/me and will be right on the phone to SIL, OSD and BM with the gossip most especially if it's something negative.
And then I said to him that BTW he had referred to the long-term home as a hospital in error and when he said that we were visiting my Mom at the hospital did YSD even so much as ask why? Did she say oh my goodness Disillusioned's Mom is in the hospital is she okay? What happened? Are you guys okay? Please tell them I say Hi. etc.. etc..?
No DH, she disn't say anything. At all. Just that fine, she would talk to you later.
So wow DH, between YSD calling at a day and time she knew I would not be available to chat and then when learining we were at the 'hospital' visiting my Mom she had not one word to say let alone something kind, no YSD was not interested in anything to do with me or being kind or welcoming to me
DH was not happy. He doesn't like his version of the facts not being my accepted version. He tried to counter it with saying we had both been on a video call with her since April and she had been fine with me, nice even and I said yes of course she was nice then DH. That was one of the few calls I reluctantly agreed to make an appearance on and only because apparently SGD wanted to talk with us and the only reason YSD was being nice to me (and coached SGD to as well) is because she had been caught on the video call a few months ago, and although I'm always pleasant and respectful on the occassions we have to interact she knows I'm on to her and it's different now between us and has been since
But DH, if YSD was so concerned with being nice to me and all that, well then why did she just pull this again this morning. Yes, a very minor thing compared to the rude dismissive treatment I received from her a few months back, but still I'm not buying into this nonsense any more
The nice thing about falling over backwards year after year to people whose behaviour is 'confusing' (passive-agressive) is when you finally see it for what it is and stop allowing yourself to be treated that way, it feels so much less stessful