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DH seeing YSD's True Colours

Disillusioned's picture

So yesterday was my birthday. It was a nice day and between family and friends and DH, I was spoiled. No complaints. 

YSD of course pulled the usual treatment

She does this every time - something that makes her look great but there is always something that she says or does which sends a different message to me. Just to make her point i think that she does not like or respect me but will make sure she looks at the same time oh so good to DH

So way back end of October/early November is when she sends me a birthday present. About a month before my birthday but that's fine. I honestly want and expect nothing. A big box arrives and once opened nice wrapping, card etc... and DH all proud of her and happy that his wonderful sweet daughter was such a thoughful sweetheart to his wife/her SM

The gift of course was once again some useless things I will not use and even DH when the saw the shampoo, conditioner, etc.. commented what do you want to do with these things I know you won't use them. I mentioned to him not to worry we will figure it out, it's the thought that counts and for anyone who took the time to buy me something and send it along with a card, I appreicate and will make sure they know this.

I did what any gracious decent person should do and not only sent text messages with the pics and how beautiful the gifts and gorgeous card, but called her and when she picked up said how thoughtful of her, not necessary for her to spend her hard-earned money on me, really appreicate it and so on. She didn't want to talk long but was upbeat of course as DH was also chatting with her on the call. I'm sure the last thing she wants is for me to be the gracious, appreicative, classy SM who goes out of her way to show appreciation and kindness as YSD would much rather appear that way herself and me the evil SM

Anyway that was way back about a month ago. Yesterday was my birthday. Unlike how the rest of DH's family is treated, a nice call or FaceTime on their birthday, there is crickets from her on mine. I was totally fine with that. Releived. A nice birthday present for me is not having to talk with her on my birthday. 

This morning I thanked DH again for all he did yesterday for my birthday. And after saying he was glad I had a nice day, he said he was so disappointed in YSD that she didn't call me at all. 

There were so many Happy BD posts on FB from my family and friends that not a chance YSD who is always on FB didn't notice

Normally I would brush it off and say to him while it's peer pressure from BM, SIL and especially OSD and that's probably why she didn't so much as say Happy BD on FB. But a phone call or text to me on my birthday is between us, OSD and the gang wouldn't have even known and since there was no way YSD couldn't not have been aware it was my birthday obviously she just chose not to call, post anyting on FB, or send a simple Happy BD text.

Hurtful behaviour in my opinion since in DHs' family they always call family on the day of their birthdays regardless of when a gift was given or when anyone saw each other or talked last. And YSD has always received not only nice gifts from us on her birthday even if mailed out west where she lives now (with lots of follow up from DH on whether it arrived because she can't be bothered to confirm or will literally say nothing arrived when the tracking showed it did!?) but always a nice phone call from us on her birthday with heartfelt sincere birthday wishes

I don't mind at all that she didn't call. Works for me. And as awful as this sounds a bonus birthday gift that DH clearly sees how YSD truly is with me....not so fall over backwards sweet and good at all. 

BobbyDazzler's picture

Second, don't expect anything from her and you'll never be disappointed. I'm glad your DH had some of the clouds in his eyes cleared away. Embrace all the good wishes you received and enjoy! Whatever her problem is, is just that, her problem.

CLove's picture

Yeah, I dont get anything from SD16 SMPS either. Only a text when Husband prompts her.

But glad that you were so spoiled.