Adult enabled step daughter
Can anyone give me some advice. I am torn if i should divorce my husband. We have been together since my step daughter was 9 years old. She is now 23. My husband enables her to no end. I love her and her new baby. She started giving us problems when she turned like 15. She started crawling out the windows, sneaking boys in our home. Before then she was on line always talking to boys or men at the age of 12 or 13 and he would never take her computer. All he done and still does in argue with her. She talkes to him like a dog when they argue. Cusses him, calls him names etc. She is real small and hes always making sure she eats, dropping everything to take her food where ever she is. He fixes her food when she is here still and packs it to her most of the time. When she started dating at 15, she dating complete loosers and he had bought her a car and she let all those loosers drive it and tear it all to pieces. When i say loosers, I mean bottom of the barrell. Drugies etc. Although, she does appear not to be on drugs herself. Guys that wont 'work since her adult life. She runs back and forth to the same ones. Complete loosers. I tried to tell my husband that he had all the power when she was younger , he could take her computer, her car, phone etc. Do some disapline. I have two grown children and although they were not perfect, I never had this kinds of things to deal with but I disapline them. They both are parents know, one is 31 and the othe 39 and have their own familes and both are hard workers.
He had a home that was paid for when i met him and I gave him half what it was worth so we could own it jointly, So I have money tied up in our marriage of course. I pay 70% of the bills . I make more money than him. I feel he could make more money if he wasnt always dropping everything to take care of his daughters business. She is now 23 years olf and has a baby that is 6 months old. the baby is precious. We did help her get a apartments ect and another dependable car because she has the baby. I helped with that and bought lots of things for the baby ans thought this will get her a good start and she can stand on her own. I don't mind helping if she would help herself. She won't though. We have paid her car insurance and rent almost every month and he is constantly giving her money. She has had 4 jobs in 6 months and will not hold down a job. The babys daddy is one of the low lifes that don't work and he won't have anyhting to do with them. She has another boyfriend who is not real motivated but he does hold down a job and spends most his money on viedo games. Shes not sure if the baby really belongs to the boyfriend now or the low life but thinks its low lifes baby. I could go on and on. My husband is very good to me personally but i thought at this time in my life with my children grown that i could get out on the weekends and travel , enjoy life. He never plans anything for us to do and he never has any money where he helps her so much. I can't have alot of extra because I pay most of our bills. Im hanging on by a thread and thinking this is not the life I want. I can see this starting all over with him now with the new baby. I love the baby and wnt it in our lives but as grandparents. I could go on and on but this touches the service. I feel she takes advantage of us. Please give me your advice people1