Interested in hearing your perspective...
I am a divorced mother of 4 children. Three of my 4 are young adults. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We moved in together in the spring. He has a daughter who recently graduated from college.
Our biggest challenge is our disagreement with what I term enabling his daughter. She rents a house from him that he charges about 2/3 of what the home would actually rent for. And honestly, I think that’s ok.
My concerns are multi-faceted. She now has a descent paying job. But she’s not paying her rent on time. That’s the only bill she’s been made to pay. He pays her car insurance (even with the recent reckless driving ticket), cable, electricity, water, even for her grass to be mowed.
She recently had her 5th car accident. He told her she would have to pay for it. Then, he told her she’d only have to pay for the parts. In the end, she didn’t pay for anything. She has a spending problem. Constantly shopping at high end stores. What I feel is no responsibility or accountability.
My struggle is the reality that she’s not my child. So, maybe it’s not my business. The issue arises because he asks for my help with her. But since asking, has truly left me out. He and his daughter make decisions and have private conversations about his assistance with her bills. He tells me one thing and does another basically behind my back.
She now wants all of these upgrades to a home she’s “renting” but not actually making the payment for on time. And he’s writing a list of what she wants done to the house to have it done.
We discuss marriage but im not sure I can spend a life with this man because of his daughter. I know how awful that sounds of me. I’m looking for some insight.
Should I butt out of his financial support of his daughter? Is it my business?