Looking to just share my horror story and get some empathy
Ive been married for 7 years, both second marriage. We dated for 5-6 years before marrying I have NO children. My husband has two. A son who is 21 and is slightly asburger and a daughter 32 and she married with two kids. I hate his kids. I tried for years to make a relationship but his ex wife (who never remarried no ever even dated after divorce that’s how insane she is) manipulated them so bad and still does. All the manipulation has been used on my husband so he feels sorry for his loser kids. His son lives with his mother. She has never worked and her elderly (very wealthy) mother pays her bills. She got Alimony for 5 years after the divorce which my husband was still paying when we married. We had him every other day until he was 17, then every other weekend and two nights a week. It was alot and his behavior got so bad I left when he came over and stayed with my parents. My husband did nothing! So his loser son will not work and takes a few classes at a community college. Otherwise he does nothing! He tells his father the divorce has caused him lots of issues (all BS). The daughter is 32, married and has two daughters. She also has never worked and her father, my husband paid her living expenses until a year after she got married (or so I thought). Her husband has a lame job and his father is a multi millionaire. He doesn’t support his son and thinks it’s his responsibility to take care of his family. I tried to get along with the daughter but she’s a piece of work and is so fake and phony. Quick synopsis of what she’s done over past 7 years. Calls her father 24/7with made up drama I.e. illnesses, issues with her mother, issues with her husband and kids. All made up so she could invade our time together. And my husband has never put up boundaries and allows her intrusions. So every vacation ruined by her! She is a true manipulator and my husband thinks she is so wonderful. I am currently not speaking to her and really want nothing to do with her. Recently I was staying in FL with my Mom who was diagnosed with cancer. I quite my job prior and have a masters degree and have made 6 figures every year so we are doing well financially. During my time away I uncovered that my husband was giving his daughter two checks a month for the entire time we’ve been married. It was up to $1100 a month! So he essentially paid her to not work! He fought so hard to not pay life time allimony only to give it to his daughter. So the amount of money I was depositing in our joint account was going to her! I confronted him and basically said I would seek a divorce if he didn’t stop. So now I monitor the bank account and credit cards monthly. Now he could have a secret account or credit card I don’t know about to keep paying her but claims it stopped when I found out. I don’t get it. It’s so wrong on so many levels. He keeps trying to get me to see her and her kids and it causes major arguments. He recently was diagnosed with prostate cancer (curable) and tries to use that as a way to manipulate me to see her. I can’t be around her. That loser! Getting her father to essentially take from our retirement to support her lazy ass. Are you kidding me. I just may punch her in her stupid manipulative face! There is so much more to share but I just don’t know how I can stay in the marriage after this. It consumes me all day and now he sneaks around and has lunch with her once a week!
Btw - neither one of his kids has ever done anything to help him or us with anything! We moved and got zero help. They are both takers and live with an entitlement mentality. I mean his daughter was getting a paycheck and you think she’d do something for it like help us pack. NOTHING! My family helps us all the time.
I love my husband but I just can’t take this any more. I’m so miserable.