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wriggsy's picture

Second week of school...third day of the school week. DH informed me that SD doesn't feel well and won't be going to school today. She started her period (no...not the first time) and has a headache! Now, I apologize to the guys on here, I'm sure you don't want to see this kind of stuff, but dammit! I'm a woman who-even on the pill-can have some DOOZIES, but I still drag my butt to work and take care of things! I completely understand, from time to time, it's a little rougher, but last school year was a disaster for this girl. She missed a day of school at least once a month, but usually more than a day (her BM would let her stay home at the drop of a hat!) Her grades sucked out loud...she had to go to summer school! At pre-registration, the nurse asked DH to make sure SD brings her supply of Motrin with her name on it to leave in her office..this is how often SD would go to the nurse with a "headache" trying to go home. The girl hates school, that's understandable...I hated it, too! But c'mon! I blame DH and BM. I kinda yelled at my honey this morning when he told me "I guess she's staying home today". WTF do you mean "you guess?" Go back home, stand her up, make her take a Midol and send her ass to school! I reminded him of last year (actually the last 2 years) of constantly having to stay home because of "headaches"...which she says because--let's be's the easiest to "fake". We did have to get her eyeglasses--which she refuses to wear, but her vision wasn't all that bad anyway. Her BM even took her to have an MRI because SD is constantly complaining of headaches. They (DH and BM) baby her when she says she has a headache, but then she goes to her room and blasts her music and sings as loud as she can. I'm sorry...I am a frequent migraine sufferer, so don't tell me you have a "migraine" and go do that. And it's like they are two different ailments. She always says "I have a headache and a migraine". She has seen me literally puking my guts up from the pain of a migraine, so she knows a migraine can knock a person down for a day, I guess she uses it.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that she has a quiz in one of her classes today....ya think?!?


mom2five's picture

I used to get migraines. They are not "headaches". I couldn't stand any light, any sound, or any smell. And I used to throw up over and over again. Plus, I basically lost site in one of my eyes. I hate when people compare migraine to a normal headache. Just something to think about...I had a hysterectomy about six years ago. I haven't had a migraine since then. And I never got them when I was pregnant. Mine were completely related to hormones.

I do feel sorry for your SD if she is having bad periods. My daughter has a terrible time as well. I let her stay home if it's really bad. daughter is a straight A honor student. I don't have to worry about her taking advantage of staying home. She hates to miss school.

MommyToAMillion's picture

oh man...i was frequently "sick" in high school. Throughout ALL of high school, actually. And it got so bad that they threatened to take my parents to jail because I was truant so much..Did I mention I went from being a straight A student to failing classes just for not going? You should mention this to your DH when he lets her stay out of school for crap!!!

lisa510's picture

There is a group of people out there who think a woman's menstruation is an illness. WTF! I'm retired military and if we told a supervisor we couldn't go to work because we were cramping from our period, we'd get disciplined.

Granted, when I was a young teenager, my periods would come so strongly, I'd pass out in school! Yes! Horrible. But my mom always sent me and I always took my meds to make it through my day. Some days were better than others.
I say send the girl to school. She obviously can't afford to miss school and she's gonna expect to be able to do the same thing in the workforce.

Cdngirl's picture

My SD 11 used to fake the whole headache thing. She learnt it from her mother. Anyways she came to live with us fulltime two years ago and within the first month of school she was pulling the headache thing. My DH was such a sucker because he would fall for this. Anyways I made appointments for her eyes and teeth and doctor to prove that there was no medical problems with SD. Also after she would come home, she would nap for an hour or less then say all was fine and want to play. The last time she pulled a headache in school, I took off work to go get her, got there at recess and low and behold SD was not in her classroom, but outside for recess. I watched her come in all smiles and laughing until she saw me. She was busted and tried to fake being ill. I took her home and she spent the rest of the day and evening in her room, only allowed out for supper and no music. She was to remain in bed and read or sleep didn't care which, this is now the rule of the house (unless it is obvious that she is sick). We also started that if she didn't miss any school, then she gets to choose one activity a month with who ever she wants i.e going to a movie with her dad or myself, going out for supper. The second half of that school year she never missed another day and the next year she didn't miss any school except once when she had the flu.

wriggsy's picture

mom2five and proud arrow...I am hoping to get my hysterectomy this year...something that I have put off for a while, but am ready for now. I also think that some of mine are caused by the birth control I am hoping this will be "my" cure.

The problem with SD is that I honestly believe she is "faking" the headaches in order to stay home. As I can a person claim to suffering from a migraine be in her room, listening to music so loud that I can hear it downstairs, along with her singing!? She will come downstairs and eat breakfast, take a shower, all sorts of things, yet claim to have a migraine. Bull sticks! Heavy, painful periods are a drag, I know, but do we really want SD to think that every month, she should get a day off to lay around just because of it? I can hear a future boss firing her if she doesn't come to work!!!

MommyToAMillion...we were notified by the school two years in a row because SD was missing too much school-main problem being that when SD was with BM, BM wouldn't send a note to school the next day, so SD had a pile of unexcused absenses!! DH was pissed this morning, too (but apparently not enough to make her go to school) and he told SD that if she stayed home, she had to spend all day reading her library book. Great thought, but I know that she will just sleep all day anyway...and DH won't even make sure that she even read anyhow...