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Stepdaughter role

Lilly Mae's picture

My stepdaughter is 20 and shows many characteristics of a mini wife.  To top it off she has a boyfriend with whom she's been with for 6 months and she treats him badly.  Calls him an ass-?!;:, He recently bought her a beautiful necklace which had a soulmate poem in the gift box.  She opens it and goes eeuw eeuw .. in front of everyone including her boyfriend ... She said it's so soppy and she doesn't like soppy.  I felt so embarrassed for him as did everyone else there. She is abusive verbally to her boyfriend and with incessant demands. I can be sitting talking to my husband and she will butt into our conversation.  I wish she would move out.  SD has started working for her dad at his new company of which she is the director .. so this has given her an even further sense of superiority.  She doesn't respect boundaries at home ... Plays her music loudly and contantly barging into our room.  I put in place a rule that if our door is closed the kids can either phone or message us ... If our door is open they can knock and enter... First day after this rule was made she broke it ... If hubby and I are sleeping she will  will walk into our room start talking.  She lies and manipulates and micro manages her father.  The other children in our family dynamic (mine) as stepdaughter an only child  are made to feel "less than" while she gets put on a pedestal because she demands that by her manipulative behaviour.  She decided to go off the contraceptive injection even tho she had an abortion the year before last ... Her dad gave her money to get the injection and she hasn't ... I am so over this behaviour.  I have spoken to my husband in a calm manner he goes quiet and says very little ... He has no control over her as when he does try to discipline her and guide her she will turn on the water works or throw a hissy fit.

Lilly Mae's picture

Her dad has bad debt so he put the company in her name and when he clears his debt he will put half the company in his name and half in hers.  She has no plans to move out.  Loving life while earning a salary and leeching off her dad and boyfriend.

ESMOD's picture

Quite frankly.. it does not sound like your DH is really smart enough to try to be in business for himself.  If you are in debt.. it makes no sense to be paying your kid to be some figure head and give them control over your business.. 

He sounds like a big problem.. and his daughter is just taking the power he gives to her.  If he won't set boundaries.. I have little hope.  

BTW.. did you ever get to the bottom of the beneficiary issue?

Lilly Mae's picture

Thank you.  With regards to beneficiary issue, he is working his way out of debt and will then take half the company back.

justmakingthebest's picture

I mean, next time she does that say  "if you would have come in 2 minutes later you would have caught me on top of your dad! Freaking knock!"

CLove's picture

I feel and think after reading your previous blogs (first time ive seen you comment, so Im wondering if you read them and the comments/suggestions?) that:

1. Things have not changed for you at all -- you will need to start creating and enforcing firm boundaries. Put locks on the doors. Document her lies.

2. Have a heart to heart with husband that things need to change. He needs sto stop enabling his spawn in how she treats people and leeches off him. Its unfortunate shes on the comany roster and its in her name. It now gives her way too much power and apparently shes drunk on it.

3. Time to make things uncomfortable for you husband if he wants to continue as he is. SD too. She needs to be uncomfortable.

floralsm's picture

Agree with Clove. Get a lock on the door asap! How dare she barge in while you sleep! Maybe even change the lock on the front door too *lol*

tfsimmons's picture

But you're not playing the game to win.  Why you letting these fools play you?  Either your husband finds his balls (you married him with his lousy business sense) or find yours...He put his business in her name?  Why didn't he put it in YOUR name?  I'm old, and still love my husband- who has provided - and STILL fight off circling StepVultures...  You're young - don't waste your life and resent what could have been... 

Rags's picture

Make htat happen.

She has had an abortion already and daddy is paying for her BC?  Really?


She is ostensibly an adult, if she is old enough to be sexually active as an adult, she can pay for her own BC or pay for the consequences of her choices.  She can pay for the abortion or the baby. Her choice.

Your DH needs to pull his head out of his ass.

Time for you and the ther kids in teh family to be the priority. Get an air horn and when SD barges in your room while you are sleeping, blast her with the horn, tell her to GTF out of your room as she knows the rules about the door being close.  Tell her that rude adults have zero chances to remain in YOUR home and her chances are long used up.  Next time, she is out and she stays out.



IMHO of course.

Rags's picture

This is not a quality partner for you. 

Move on. Save your future.  There is no future with this failed man and his shallow and polluted gene pool.

Take care of you.