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Daughters Boyfriend

Lilly Mae's picture

Hi everyone

So things are going better between my husband and myself.  I put my foot down and told him my stepdaughters boyfriend may no longer live with us.  So now SD isnt happy and wants to move out.  I dont feel bad because firstly from the day they met he made himself quite comfortable living at our house, I spoke to my husband about it and told him its not on, they then decided they would spend 4 nights at our house and 3 at his parents house which is fair but for the last few months they have been at our house nearly every single day.  So i put my foot down.  The thing is now SD is going and telling everyone I kicked her out ..... she has always been a liar.  I really dont care.  I did not kick her out its her choice that shes attached to her boyfriend like a blue ass fly and cant spend a night away from him.  She is choosing to move out. I wont allow my daughters boyfriends to live at our house and the thing is they didnt even ask (just no respect for anyone).  I leave for work and hes there , i get home from work and hes there, its just getting a bit much now.  He does not offer to help in any way besides when he is asked by my husband to go to the shop etc.  He is 24 and is getting a salary from his parents as they have given him a year to follow his dream and become a prof golfer.  He never offered me money towards food except for last month but its not about the money its about having someone else in my house and im over it.  Anyone dealt with something similar?  Everyone including hubbys mom and the boyfriends mom are telling me im making a big thing about it and i must "relax".  All fair and well .... they have been staying at his moms house for the last week since this all went down.... lets see how she likes it now..... because she cant stand SD and called told her shes a B to her face a few months ago...  

Winterglow's picture

I'm glad you put your foot down about this. They were both taking a huge advantage of your home and living there for next to nothing with all the home comforts. Those telling you that you're making a mountain out of a molehill have obviously never been there. It's one thing when it's an extra child who moves in (to start with, that wouldn't happen without your permission), it's quite another to find an unrelated adult lounging in your home whatever the time of day. If they want to be grown ups, let them find their own place. 

Also, as you were in dire financial straits, could you really afford an extra adult mouth to feed (plus hot water, heating, electricity for laundry, etc.)?

ESMOD's picture

wonderful.. the two other mummies are happy their kids are shacking up under their roof!.. Well.. guess they can split their time at those homes.  Your boundary was no BF living there.. that's totally reasonable.. and his mom can host them if that's what she wants.. and your SD's mom can always open her home as well.. 

AgedOut's picture

it's your home and your hhome is supposed to be your happy place. when it stops being your happy place then you need to make it that again. if these two are so in looooovvvvveeee then maybe it's time they rent an apartment and get on with their adult lives.

Kloewent's picture

Having girls stay over was my hard no! I figured my sons would never move out if I allowed that. I am not naive, I am sure they snuck a few in, but they never could have one stay here officially! People who want to live together need to get their own place!!

David78's picture

Been there done that multiple times. My SD is a selfish person who uses guilt to get her way.

One of her BF's who took up residence in our home is in prison on 1st degree murder charges and quite sure this murder happened while he was squatting in our home.

So over it! I really just don't care any more.

Rags's picture


No murderers to refer to, however, my SS's eldest younger brother (one of 4 Spermidiot spawned half sibs (SS, Half Sib1, 2 &3) is in prison for armed burglary.

We were never allowed ot have overnight girlfriend guests.  Unless they were in the guest room.  I can count on less than the fingers of one hand how many times that happened.

Winterglow's picture

So if she tries to move back in, even without her bf, just direct her to your MIL's house because it's no big deal for her. If MIL complains, just tell her to relax. Smile


CLove's picture

Or six and they will take triple that.

Change those locks. SD and her "manchild" can live elsewhere.