Paying half of activities .. yay or nay?
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Custody agreement is silent on any extras outside of the child support. BM is in TX, pretty damn far away. She wants DH to pay half of the cost for the girls to play sports there for one season. We will have absolutely NO involvement in the activity due to distance.
Is this reason enough to not agree to pay 1/2? She's already expecting DH to get their sports physicals done here before they move down there.
Keep in mind we are almost 100% certain she will make sure the skids know that DH did not contribute.
Does your DH want to pay?
Does your DH want to pay?
If he does not want to I would say NAY...DH contributes via CS.
don't pay anything over child
don't pay anything over child support! it's just a bonus for BM! don't do it! my SD5's BM was trying to convince DH to pay half of day care expenses and he was feeling to guilty about just not being a full time dad that he almost did it. DH needs to stand ground and not pay for anything over child supports unless it is happening in your own home and staying in your home.
I'd say that's what the CS is
I'd say that's what the CS is supposed to pay for. If he can't even attend practices or games, why should he feel obligated to pay for anything above and beyond CS?
But I see your point that BM will say "oh well, kids, guess you can't do the fun things you want because your deadbeat FATHER won't help pay!" They just love painting the fathers in such a shitty picture to the kids, don't they?
Good luck with that, but if it were my DH and our situation, I'd have to advise him against paying more than just CS
my ex usually pays half (it's
my ex usually pays half (it's not in the co and he usually chooses to not participate beyond a few performances or games) I always ask what he's willing to contribute so I can decide if I can afford it on my own if he won't contribute or even just my part. I rarely ask for extra beyond cs but since he's now 1800$ behind in support he gets more requests just because I can't afford it and sometimes I just have to tell the kids no, part of life as a divorced parent meh.
In our situation: that's a
In our situation: that's a big fat ol' NAY!!!
BM gets $1k per month in CS. 50% of ALL expenses are to be taken out of that. If she finds that it's not enough, then she can get a job. Otherwise, when she sticks her hand out talking about "50% of this or 50% of that..." she's really just asking for HER 50% - which I refuse to pay.
DEFINITELY look into that.
DEFINITELY look into that. That's not normal. Ex should at LEAST be paying 1/2 medical/dental! Ridiculous.
Re: OP- if you have a bad relationship with BM I'd explain to kid before they go back to BM that you guys already pay for skids activities and continue to do so on a monthly basis and that money goes toward anything skid does, needs, etc. and that if BM tells them any different, it's not true there is legal paperwork in place that proves you do. Pre-emptive strike!
Nothing extra from C S. why
Nothing extra from C S. why is these BM feel like the father is suppose to pay everything these kid(s) are 50 percent hers to! so lets say you pay 600 a month for skid then BM should also contribute 600 a month.... don't tell me skid cost 1200 per month....... Pay no more then court order. Plus these BM get to also claim these skid on taxes. Screw any extra $ . I live by the same rules with my bio kid dad just pay for half of kids stuff we don't do CS through the court at least but do not ask to claim kid at end of year they live w me I pay for daily living . As long as I get half of big stuff or medical exp. I don't care they are my kids too and I am more then willing to pay for them.
I would not pay half for
I would not pay half for something that I did not have any say in deciding. So if she's already come up with the sport and the program, then she needs to pay it. He pays support and she shouldn't choose anything more than she can afford from her own pocket and his support. Byebyebirdie is exactly right that these BM's think they are to pay NOTHING for the kid. Having custody (that they asked for) doesn't give them a free pass on any of the financial responsibility for their kid.
The BM Biatch I have to deal with is always asking for half of some activity expense but SHE chooses the activity in advance vs discussing with DH. Example, for 3 years we have paid $50 for PseudoSS8 to participate in YMCA soccer. But BM Biatch decided this year to put him in a $200 program at a private camp & enrolled him without a word to us about it. THEN she comes asking for $100 for it--no wait, she comes demanding it. I told DH we weren't paying it. Already paid $400 for half his summer camp. Already bought the stupid shoes, cleats and crap and he can't even play! He's two left-hands and feet. DH does not pay Child Support because it's not his kid but he may as well because she's always asking for half the expenses for crap.
Once the BM of skid when
Once the BM of skid when asking for extra money actually told my DH well I paid for this and that blah blah blah and my DH said "yeah with the CS I give you" that shut her up. I am telling you all the best thing we did was NOT taking BM back to court when she got a job and we could have... But we know the court formula and she dont so we figured cs would of stayed about the same do to some new court ruling change so We just continue to pay what were have been and now that she has good job she don't want to report it to the court and when my DH said to her when she was asking for the money "why don't we revisit court and update records" she was all good with us not giving any extra money and said to my DH you dont need to be mean about it! Hehehehe and she has not asked for nothing since then... Love it we finally have her right where we want her.... She used to take DH to court every two yrs but now that she works it stopped.
BM pulled that on us when
BM pulled that on us when skids started cheerleading and football. She was irate when he said no. Oh well. My thing was that it was her decision to place the kids in EXTRAcurricular activities. She didn't ask before she did it, she just did it and assumed we would be paying half. If the kids were living with us, we wouldn't have been able to afford to put them in sports at that time...and if we did I certainly wouldn't have assumed she would be able to pay half.
I would pay, I don't see what
I would pay, I don't see what distance has to do with it. It is for the kids, and if they want to do it then why not? As long as it is do-able financially for you.
I was always under the impression the child support was for food, shelter, and clothing. I know in the state we deal with extra curriculars are NOT included in child support and are in addition to child support.