Partner says I love you to ex wife
I am need of confirmation or a reality check...
This evening my partner was showing me his texts and one happened to be from his ex wife. I didn't notice at first but there was a heart emoji from his ex. He quickly told me "don't worry. That one is to Marisa (the ex) and it just meant as friends." I took notice then and wanted to know why. He had given his child support payment and she was emotionally distraught. My partner said "I love you nerd" to help comfort her and it meant nothing but "just as friends." I felt a lot of anger and was visibly upset. His defense is that it means something different when you have children with someone. He has said many times before that he will always love his ex wife, that he had been with her for 10 years (separated for 5) and had two kids with her, that this means he will always love her. If the shoe was on the other foot, and I told my ex I loved them, with the intention of it meaning just as friends he says it would mean the same thing if there were children involved and he would be understanding. I do not and therefore do not share his take on this. I feel like a huge boundary has been crossed, and even if he doesn't think so she very well took his sweet nothings to heart. Her response from what I saw as "Thanks I love you too <3."
Is this normal? Am I just being jealous? Why is this bothering me so much.
By him saying "I love you" to her, and then saying it to me I feel like it's emotional cheating. We are in a monogamous relationship so saying this to someone, especially since he's been in a romantic and obviously physical relationship, I feel is different than saying to a friend or family member. I might say I love you to my close friend but I never have sex with them so by definition would literally mean "just as friends."