OMG! Just came across a document of H's rundown on relationship with SD and BM from 8 years ago!
So I was going through old files on my computer and dleting unneeded files. I came across this declaration statement H wrote up back in 2012 for his attorney when he insisted on getting one to get a parenting plan. SD was 14, almost 15, when he started doing this as they had nothing in place previous to that and BM all of a sudden saying she was moving halfway across the country to keep H from SD set this off. Oh yeah, and the initial attorney fees before things could get started was $3500 and guess who had to put up the money?! Yup, H almost angrily insisted that I HAD to pay for it because he had no money but how could I NOT do it because we were talking about him having time with his daughter! I couldn't stand having SD for even a weekend, but here I am putting up $3500 so that we can get her on a regular basis or deal with him being pissed at me for not doing it.
So anyways, I forgot just how f'd up the situation was with BM. Their relationship started back in 1993 where they dated for a few months then broke up, got back together in 1995 and got engaged later that year. A few months later BM became pregnant and informed H that she was having an abortion that day. She also informed him that this was the third abortion she'd had with him! Not only that, but she had had MULTIPLE abortions previously with other boyfriends! Then when she did become pregnant with SD, she made statements like "I'm only doing this because YOU want a kid". I find that funny how she seemed so against having a kid but then when she did have SD, did everything in her power to keep her away from H!
In 1998 BM had a male friend move in which was supposed to only be for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks he didn't move out and actually started moving in larger items. He refused to leave saying he was paying his share of rent so H called the police and they got him out.H confronted BM about him paying rent when he never saw any of it and apparently he was paying BM the money and she just kept it for herself. Winner!
In 1999 they separated. She quickly move in another guy who SD started referring to as "daddy" which actually explains why to this day SD calls people she barely knows her aunt or uncle or even a friend (who apparently is no longer a friend) who had a baby SD started referring to the baby as her niece!
Then this blows my mind. In 2001, BM approaches H saying that her relationship with this guy isn't going well and wants to get back together with H. She tells him that she wanted to return to school in Minnesota, not Washington, to be near her family and if H would be willing to move in order to be close to SD and how she would "never keep him from his daughter". H agreed and got a transfer to another company in MN. He moved out ahead of her because she stated that she would move out after doing her employer's taxes, which would be early Feb. of 2002. In Jan. she stopped responsing to emails and phones calls from H. He finally received a call from her saying that she wouldn't be moving out and changed her mind. She then fesses up that she didn't feel she could work on her relationship with the guy (the one she said she was leaving to get back with H!) if H was around! How manipulative to ask him to uproot and move 2000 miles away with the premise that she would move out as well.
After this there was just several occasions with BM keeping SD from H, moving again to get away from H, telling SD it woudl break her heart if she decided to live with H. All this from a woman who never even wanted a kid!