19 yr old SS crossed a line ‘the’ line
Hi guys I’m new here, I’ve been struggling with a situation that happened a couple of months ago, and so I’m here to vent and maybe get some advice on how to move forward, and would love to know of others who may have been through something similar.
So bit of back ground info, I’ve been married to my partner for 5 years now and SS who lives with us full time is now 19 yrs old. Let’s be honest I’ve never really embraced being a stepmum, I haven’t been able to have my own children which has added to the frustration and pain of being a stepparent. But Ss and I have at least had a fairly respectful relationship not an overly close or warm one though.
So a couple of months back SS crossed a line, I caught him trying to video record up my skirt. I was horrified as was his dad. Now a lot of weird and awkward moments over the previous few weeks seemed to point to the fact that He obviously has some hormonal issues to work out. At first I couldn’t bare to be near him, I didn’t want to see him or look at him and I didn’t talk to him. After about a week we had a family discussion, where we acknowledged his problem that he and his dad were going to have to work on, he was very sorry and I forgave him for what he did but made it very clear I was extremely hurt and that it was going to take a long time for me to feel ok around him again and even longer for any kind of relationship to resume.
fast forward to now, I’m still struggling to feel relaxed and comfortable in my own home. It’s caused all kinds of stress between my hubby and I as he’s caught in the middle, he sees how bad his son feels and can see positive progress he’s making, but because I’m still struggling and not seeing what he sees it’s like I’m the one not getting over this.
I don’t know anyone who has been through anything like this, I mean who has to live with someone who has violated them? How do I get past my feelings of complete dislike for what he did to me and try to feel relaxed, safe and normal in my own home? How is my life supposed to feel like a normal family again (as normal as a step family can be anyway) right now I hate my life and my situation and I can’t see a way through it.