SD's 23rd birthday came and went without any acknowledgement from H!
So here we are 10 1/2 months since SD had her screaming meltdown swearing she hates H, he's not her father, she and her mother never liked him, leaving at 1AM, etc. Even though 2 hours prior to said meltdown she told him she loved him and she'd be back up in 2 months to help him celebrate his birthday. Well things have held true between them with him not contacting her or vice-versa. For the first time in the 15 years I've known SD, H has not bought her anything or even acknowledged it was her birthday yesterday. He even asked me what the date was yesterday when he was signing and dating some paperwork and when I told him, he didn't even bat an eye when I swore he would go "Oh it's SD's bday today". It's like she's been totally wiped from his mind. Hey, fine by me!
Several times in the past 15 years there has been screaming matches and months of not talking and every time I'm elated because it meant I could be assured that we wouldn't have to see her for a while but yet they always came around at some point and then I was back to being constantly worried that she was going to come up for an extended stay or H would once again try his hardest to convince her to move up here. I'm pretty sure those days are over, at least I hope so. I LOVE knowing that our weekends will no longer include having her here. No longer will I have to spend a week worrying about her visits and what winner of a boyfriendor friends she'll bring up, which is good because now I'm working from home and wouldn't be able to get away from her.
Lately though I've been having dreams about her coming up and staying with us and I'm so glad that when I wake up I find that it's not true. I must still feel that in the back of my mind that something is going to happen and she's going to be back in his life and I'll be back to constantly worrying about when is going to happen with her.
Congratulations! You are winning and the funny thing is, it was
HER CHOICE to walk out of daddy's life.
I hope the good luck continues.
That is great news.
I could only dream
this awesome situation.
OP rejoice!!
I hope its not like our pattern here
My SD has a pattern where she will get in a screaming match with someone, maintain no-contact for awhile then have a big reconciliation. Lather, rinse, repeat. Our late BM did this, too. I hope that isn't what happens at your house.
Oh this is her life! She goes
Oh this is her life! She goes on and on about a new person she met and how they have just become the best of friends and then a month later all of a sudden they are out of her life because they said or did something and it is NEVER her fault! She just can't understand what she did to make them act that way. How many times we've heard "my teacher hates me, my mom's boyfriend's mom and dad hate me, my boyfriend's brother and his wife won't let me near their baby because they hate me" and on and on! We'll see nothing but her and this new person on Facebook for a month and then all of a sudden no longer are there pics of them and when you look at her friend's list they are no longer friends.
Her mother has gone through so many boyfriends. When SD was growing up, within a few weeks of them dating she was calling the boyfriend dad or telling him she loves him and making H feel like he wasn't part of her lifeand sayign how the new boyfriend was so awesome. Then a month later she'd call saying how her mom's boyfriend is being mean to her and doesn't like her and now she wants to live with us!
Sounds just like my SD.
Sounds just like my SD. Everyone hates her for unknown reasons and every failed relationship/job/project is everyone else's fault. Oddly it's never, ever HER fault. Which is 100% all her fault.
SNAP!!
SNAP!!
That describes exes daughter to a tee!!!
In her head, SHE is the nice one, and everyone else is so awful and mean. She can't understand why her friendships and relationships don't last because SHE has done nothing wrong.
Well, she is the common denominator in all these failures, haha, so needs to take a good hard look at herself.
But of course, she won't.
Sigh...
Sounds so familiar.
Well SD has issues of some
Well SD has issues of some kind. She's been seeing a counselor for years but never talks to H about what she's dealing with, of course, and if he asks her so he can get some kind of an idea as to what's going on with her she just yells and pouts and gets on speed dial to BM complaining that H is treating her bad and she wants to leave.
I'm sorry that they have this relationship, but every time she visited she was such a downer. Never wanting to leave the house or leave the living room. Always hearing abotu how so and so isn't friends with her anymore because they disrespected her or whatever. I am SOOOOOOOO glad she did have her meltdown back in December becasue the next day she was supposed to fly all the way across the country to Orlando with us and we had to spend a week with her there, in the same room at a Disney resort with no doubt her creating drama in the first 24 hours by complaining that she wants to sleep and doesn't want to get up early to go to Disney and god forbid walk around all day. She would have complained about the rides and how she didn't want to go on them. Of course, I knew this is what would happen if she went but H said that "oh no she'll have so much fun, it's Disney". Wanna bet? They would have been at each others throats and no doubt she would have called BM the next day saying how she hates H and wants to leave and BM would no doubt buy her a return plane ticket and make all her arrangements for her.
And if I had to hear one more thing about her anxiety keeps her from doing anything I was going to scream. Can't keep a job because she's anxious, can't go to school, can't keep friends. You are 23 and guess what? It doesn't get any easier and there's going to be a LOT more anxiety in your world. Welcome to adulthood! You are not a special snowflake who simply can't function because you have "anxiety" and expect everyone to coddle you. She wanted to be an adult so bad when she was a teenager, well here it is!
One good thing I guess is
One good thing I guess is that she doesn't live with you full time.
Ex's daughter (23) has said she is NEVER moving out of home. Says she is too anxious to drive to visit relatives in another town (2 hour drive max), so will only go if Daddy takes her.
When they do go to family functions and get togethers, she is his ghost shadow, glued to his side. If people try and make an effort to talk to her, he answers for her, because she answers in sullen monosyllables.
Not doing her any favours mate!
Anxiety
I know anxiety is real and some folks have a rough time. BUT, my SD59 does the same, blames every one of life's bumps on her anxiety. Always looks on the worst side, expects disaster all the time. I guess that IS anxiety but its so wearing on everyone, especially her.