New house
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So, we just bought a new place near BM, to help with commute. Baby mama lives 10 minutes away, too much commute for child to go back and fourth about 40 minutes. The court order says we have to notify 24hrs prior to move, we are moving in, in a couple weeks...now she is threatening, that if she sees me, who knows what she will do. Please advise? I can’t put my life on hold everytime she is not content with our decisions. We have complied to the court order and we are doing everything in our power to keep peace. She is unable to drive so we could’ve moved elsewhere but it would make everyone’s life more difficult.
Like what is she going to do?
Call you names. If so that what the police is for. Get a restraining order against her.if she goes nuts. Don’t play games with her. Don’t give her a inch. You give her an inch she will take miles. Cut her off ASAP
I agree with Harry. This is
I agree with Harry. This is not your battle to fight. If you are complying legally, then BM has little recourse, other than name calling and parenteral alienation syndrome (PAS’ing) her kid. Not that that kind of stuff isn’t cruel or even inhumane. It is just that that kind of stuff she does is outside your control, other than, as Harry suggests, getting a restraining order, especially since it seems she did threaten you.
You made an interesting comment, tho., “I can’t put my life on hold everytime she is not content with our decisions.” I agree 100%, and I’d agree 200%, if it made sense, but you’d be amazed how many, nonsteps in particular, think that this is precisely what SMs are supposed to do day in and day out—that we are supposed to bend over backwards and then some to pacify BM, because she is mom, after all. Nonsense. Don’t buy it (and your DH shouldn't be buying it either), and maybe you shouldn't have even moved in the 1st place, if it was done mainly to pacify BM.
If you are a girlfriend to DH, you have the right to be a girlfriend just like any other girlfriend. If you are a wife to DH, you have the right to be a wife just like any other wife. None of this, “You hooked up with a man with children, so now you get to be a lackey/ servant to the initial family the rest of your life” stuff!! Let DH deal with what is his issue, and don't keep buying his excuses if he continually is moving things around, literally and figuratively, just to pacify BM. Otherwise, you have a DH problem as well as a BM problem.
Well said
That is well said. What I am unsure of, is this DH problem? What should I be expecting of him, in this situation?
I Don't think anyone
I don't think anyone can answer that except you. The question is really one you need to ask yourself. What do you want from him in this situation?
Ignore BM. And if she does
Ignore BM. And if she does anything worthy of filing a police report or a restraining order, file one.
DO NOT let her push you around, live your life. Know your rights and use them.
She can't drive
She can't drive so I am assuming you or the father does all of the transportation, correct? And you are moving to make that more possible. Yet for some reason this woman is apparently threatening some sort of crazy if she "sees" you? It is up to the person who created these children with her to explain in very short sentences how she is in the wrong here and that the police will be involved if she does not start behaving like an adult. And then make that happen if your life is impacted negatively. You are doing him a favor by dealing with this crap. Don't let him forget it.
All I can say is, how sad
All I can say is, how sad that most rather than thinking SMs are doing someone a favor by trying to deal with all of this crap that wasn't of our creation, instead most think that we are somehow the cause of it or not doing enough.
Lol and when/if she decides
Lol and when/if she decides to "SEE YOU" and do whatever her nonsensical threat is, you call the cops, and press charges, every single time.
She threatened you. Go get
She threatened you. Go get your CHG license and protect yourself if she attempts to deliver on her threats.
Confront her crap. Do not tolerate any threats or toxic manipulations she attempts.
DH needs to put his foot up her ass for her threats. Figuratively of course.
Enjoy your new home. Screw BM and enjoy rubbing her nose in your move.
Have fun!
She's probably just trying to
She's probably just trying to intimidate you. My SD's BM once said she was going to beat me so bad my DH wouldn't recognize me. Nothing was ever done about it. Police don't take threats without action seriously where I live, unfortunately. Nothing ever happened though. I guess she was just trying to scare me away. I would try to enjoy your life and new home, and let DH deal with the BM drama - ALL of it. It is NOT your problem to deal with. Congrats on your new home!