My stepson has autism, and a host of other developmental/physical/intellectual delays. Skid lived with DH in HER HOME from age 2 to age 6....now yes, DH is certainly to blame for IGNORING THE SIGNS (trust me, it took me less than one hour, first time I met skid to know something was way off about him)...but he's a man, and men really do tend to wear the DENIAL label very well.

BUT, how could SHE, the GRANDMOTHER, who's raised 2 normal boys of her own, has 3 other 'normal' grandchildren, just sit back and DO OR SAY NOTHING TO HER SON about his son, her GRANDSON. FIL too....they just sat back and let an AUTISTIC CHILD get no early intervention...NONE......

Now I have a 10 yr old who functions PHYSICALLY as a 5 year old. He can't twist a cap off a bottle of water. He can't ride a bike, can't tie a shoe, sometimes cant get a new shoe ON his foot by himself......and this I have to live with now....

No, i don't give DH a pass, trust me. but once he got together with me, I forced him/them to have that kid tested, and the chips have fallen. The motor skills are so poor he was diagnosed ON TOP OF THE AUTISM (which most autistic kids have some form of gross/fine motor delays) with DEVELOPMENTAL COORDINATION DISORDER (motor coordination disorder it's sometimes called). Skid goes to therapy (outpatient) for that and speech, he's got vocal cord nodules now because he doesn't know how to "breathe" properly, through the diaphragm. It's all so fuckin sad...and i'm sure she knows I BLAME THAT WHOLE FAMILY for ignoring that kids needs. Lucky BM is a piece of trash heroin addict, cuz if she wasn't and had a brain, she could have had them all arrested for child abuse and neglect.

THAT, IMO, is why they LOATHE me.....

Fuck em all is exactly how I feel, trust me. I rarely need to see or talk to her so that part's good, but I feel bad for DH, he really loves his family. There was a cookout at the cousin patti's (one who got married in vegas) over the summer. I told my husband the only way my physical body would be at that event was if he carried it there in a body bag. Over my dead rotten corpse....i told him make up an excuse, and to go and take skid with him, everyone will be happy to see just the 2 of them.....he refused, so nobody went. I would never ask him NOT to go to something family related, but pretty much said i'm DONE going to them.....

Even my KIDS notice that when they are forced (on very limited occasions) to have to be babysat over there, how they are treated differently than SKID. My mom watches all 3 all the time and always treats them all the same, even skid, who's not her bio grandkid. My DH doesn't know my kids feel this way, but it's OK. I tell my mom i'm stuck and that MIL is the only free sitter, she finds ways to keep my kids out of MILs house too, skid goes, mine go somewhere else.

DH is the one I feel bad for

EXACTLY, by "outing the kid", i've in turn "outed them" for their CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT........ }:)

funny thing is, my DH was never married to BM. BM STOLE MIL's credit card, charged 2 tickets to FLORIDA and a few cartons of cigarettes, basically kidnapped SKID (before he was 2) and took him from PA to FL. She's a HEROIN ADDICT, she stole pills from my SIL (who has really bad Multiple Sclerosis) OXYCONTIN, PERCOCET, etc. WHILE BM WAS PREGNANT, so clearly she was using while pregnant.....MIL never pressed charges, NOTHING, I guess just sat back and PAID THAT BILL!!!!!!

But, POOR BABY MOMMA, I was reminded very early on: "YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER"....well, clearly, i'd first of all NEVER want to lay claim to that HORRIFYING DNA, and second of all, if I was his mother, he'd have been getting interventions from professionals prior to age 3 and he would probably now be able to do a lot more things for himself.

I sometimes wonder if that's why I dislike SKID so much, because of HER. Cuz I can't stand her and SHE LOVES HIM, that is it a "fuck you, i kinda am his mother cuz he aint got anyone else singing up for that shit" kinda thing????