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Don’t want to sleep in same room with SD

georgina29's picture

SD Diablo is sick with slight fever. DH makes her a bed i our room on the spare mini couch in our bedroom that is right beside our bed. I told him that’s fine and he should go sleep in there but I will be sleeping on the couch. He gets angry at me for it and says “it’s not like we will be having sex! What is the problem?!!!” He gets angry and goes to bed without speaking to me. I have no issues with sleeping on the coach whatsoever and would rather do so than have a child in our bedroom. I know she’s not in our bed but she’s right next to it and she doesn’t sleep consistently throughout the night and I need my sleep. He made an issue of me sleeping on the couch which I think is beyond weird. Anyone with me on this? If your child is in our bedroom I am not sleeping in there and will spend the night gladly on the couch. End of story. Also it’s not like we have sex anyways, we haven’t in weeks and even then it was weeks before that. Also the dog seems to favor me and stayed downstairs on the Couch with me and  she wasn’t even my dog when we met! Lol

amyburemt's picture

present it this way... "dh i'm sleeping on the couch because one of us needs to stay healthy and since she's so close, you will probably get sick". 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Why would he care that you are sleeping on the couch for a couple of nights while his daughter is sick? You offered - it is not like you are upset about it. In my world, sleep is sacrosanct - I'm all for anyone doing anything to get a good night's sleep. Just ignore him.

You didn't ask, and I don't know your backstory - but is the lack of sex indicative of other problems? Could those issues have anything to do with his emotional response?

tog redux's picture

What's up with these selfish men?  Dear god, it's not divorce, it's just a night on the couch.  I sleep in the spare room on occasion if I'm having trouble sleeping, and DH misses me, but he wouldn't dream of getting mad.  He's happy if I sleep better in there.

Just sleep on the couch and let him have his mantrum. Ugh. 

justmakingthebest's picture

That is my one question too... I used to pull my sick kids into bed with me when they were toddlers. My son had really bad seizures and I needed to keep my hand on him to feel like I could semi-sleep when he had a fever. 

That stopped by the time he was about 4. I was with my kids father and then single during that time, so it was never an issue. However, if she is really young I would get it. I would never fault a step/SO for not wanting to sleep in the same room. I would also never allow my spouse to take the couch so that my kid can be close when sick. I would sleep in my kids bed or have an air mattress or something in their room. 

georgina29's picture

His daughter is 6. I think what makes these situations frustrating is the way skids act even when healthy, entitled, but not their fault, it is the parenting.

justmakingthebest's picture

Yeah... she is old enough to sleep in her own bed when she is feeling icky. He can wake up and check on her throughout the night- I might even be open to leaving the bedroom door open so you can hear if she starts getting sick but that is about it. 

pwoodlson's picture

I agree. She is getting to the age where she should be sleeping in her own bed while sick but that likely won’t happen because your husband has created this mess and feed into it. Let me guess she’s catered to like this even when healthy. Good luck breaking the cycle of spoiled entitled codependency.

caitlinj's picture

What is she sick with that requires her to sleep in his bedroom 24/7 throughout the night that would require his wife to be forced to forgo her own restand well being? Does the child have cancer? Pneumonia? Or some other long term and life threatening illness? If she does she should be in the hospital. 

DrizzlyHateful's picture

Your husband is not understanding how you wouldn't want to sleep in the same room as this beautiful perfect kid him and someone else created and how every sneeze is perfect.

 

Tell him to get his ass in bed with her in HER room. No way in hell they would cause me to have to sleep on tht couch. By kid, back to your bed! By hubby to her room you go with her!