Christmas time and guilt
I am a stepmom to a 10 year old daughter and a bio mom to a 3 year old. DH and I have a good relationship however since my last post he has had no contact with SD10, not a call nothing and I keep asking him to call her and check on her but he says he needs to get his head "straight" before he calls. I am sure the situation of me being accused of rape and being told that BM will no longer be sending SD10 over to our house if I am here is weighing heavy on him. He is avoiding all communication, he saw SD10 in October for her birthday to provide her with her gifts from us, he told me he asked her when she would be visiting and she responded that she "does not know when". I am not sure she said anything else however he has not spoken to her at all since then. December we always spend as a family, I buy the girls matching outfits and we celebrate it with my mom and in-laws. This year will be the first time in 6 years that she will not be with us for Christmas, at least I think she will not be with us because I asked DH and he said only book the Christmas lunch for us.
I feel guilt because I want him to be in her life but I also acknowledge that he has been through some hectic times with BM and may wish to cut all ties...she has stabbed him, beaten him up, abused him, taken him to court on false charges and the recent false charges of rape against BM's ex husband (involving her 15 YO daughter) may have created doubt in his mind that SD10 would have falsely accused him as well. The incident in August was that she requested to sleep in the same bed as DH and cried for us to call BM to force him to do so, not sure if she wanted to charge him with rape later but alarm bells went off in my head and I offered for them to sleep in the lounge on separate couches in order to watch TV. She had never requested this before as she has her own room in our house.
This whole situation is sick. I think he has totally given up. not sure what I can do but feeling very guilty. I do not want to be known as a bad step mother or have my BD3 not know her own sister because of all this. please provide me with some advice?