I do not know what to do
I need advice.
I am a step mom to a 10 year old girl. I have been in her life since she was 4 years old. I am now having some serious issues with her and her BM.
I have been married for 4 years. At first I loved my SD and spoiled her, but after having my own daughter I have lost all my emotions towards my SD. I resent her for being around, I hate that I have spoilt her and I do not spoil my own daughter. My husband loves our daughter and I feel deep inside he doesnt have a connection to SD. BM has been remarried and while she was good with her husband she was great with us and did not bother us, but now that she is divorced again she seems to be meddling into my relationship with my husband by forcing him to do things with SD. she has poisoned SD towards me.
My SD has become disgusting by masturbating while we are in the same room as her, she orgasmed whilst shaking like crazy and we were in the living room with her watching a movie. My 2 year old daughter has since starting touching her own vagina as well and it makes me sick. She has stolen a phone from our house and we discovered this months after she stole it as she was registering herself on snapchat with my husband's email address. BM has since confronted DH to tell him she has read all his messages especially messages between him and I while we are fighting and I admit I have said some very nasty things to my husband whilst fighting such as: you can go back to your slutty ex if you would like, XX is a whore but if you want this disgusting woman back you are free to leave the house. It was very personal messages which was not for her eyes. I feel so much resentment that she knew the phone was stolen and still persisted by reading our personal conversations, fights, my husband's banking information and everything that was sent to a phone.
I am totally sick to my stomach that his daughter stole the phone as we would have removed all our personal information before she got the phone. It was an extra phone we kept in case our current cellphones broke. My SD has become a source of anxiety to me, she enters my house and reports everything to her mother and BM then messages DH to complain about everything in my house including the food I make, whether we shower on a saturday or not, why she persists to wet the bed at my house as if i am abusing her. I sometimes even pay my husband's maintenance, I buy SD clothing which SD tells other poeple her BM bought her and not me, her step mom. I earn 4 times as much as DH so most of the finances are on my shoulders and I basically support our daughter myself. My SD basically gets more CS than my child as he does not support my child or buy our child any clothing.
I am tired of it all, SD gets clothing from her mother, her family and me whereas my child does not even get half of that. I am sick of including her and I want to dis-engage from SD totally as nothing I do receives any recognition.
please advise me? Am I being petty? I do not want to be a wicked step mother.