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Can't they just go away...forever?

WwCorgi7's picture

SD last made contact in August after over a year of zero contact. She basically schemed with her trashy family and got $300 bucks out of Dh. Luckily it wasn't the $1200 she was asking for. Dh was hurt and it really opened his eyes to who SD had become. She went no contact again and Dh washed his hands of her. He is so disgusted with her and doesn't want anything to do with her. He's accepted it and just wants to continue life and be happy.

Dh has had no contact with SD but now she and her family are targeting my MIL.  BM's family are emailing her pictures and social media screen shots of SD with them just out of the blue. My MIL is now all worked up. I told her not to fall into the trap. Dh was pissed and said he didn't want to hear about it. He said he was done with it and does not want to know anything about SD or the family. 

I hate that they keep playing games. They keep popping up randomly. They want nothing to with Dh or his family except  money then they run off. MIL did not reply and she blocked them. I hope it stops and they just get back to their pathetic lives. Seriously, can't they just go away forever? 

shamds's picture

Typical narc traits disappear cease contact for several yrs then out of blue pop up re-initiate contact and act like nothing is wrong and its all good.

my skids especially sd's pull this crap all the time. I told my husband that our 2 then toddler kids require consistency and not yoyo half siblings that play this game. Its been over 3 yrs, you show my 4 & 5 yr old son and daughter pics of their half brother and half sisters and they have no clue who those people ask. If you ask is that their brother or sister and they only refer to one another.

at school when drawing pics of family, half siblings aren't in it. Just wait for the day when my ils refer to half siblings as my kids brother and sister and my kids say thats not my brother or sister. I foresaw this years ago and its on skids and my husband why a relationship doesn't exist.

as usual, skids see us as people who are taking their inheritance away and what they believe is theirs when its really hubbys money to do as he sees fit

WwCorgi7's picture

That's how I feel about it. You are either in or out. You can't come in and out whenever it suits you and mess with everyone's lives.

shamds's picture

Shown they do not want to be active members of our household, if we have plans, they don't change for skids ever unless a legit emergency which we never had.

if we plan a mini getaway & ss demands a feww fancy holiday with his full sisters and hubby (me and 2 toddlers are expected to stay home), sorry hubby is unavailable 

Rags's picture

I think that you managing the situation as you are is brilliant.  Not chasing your Skids for a relationship is the way to go.  If, that is a big IF, they grow up and approach respectfully and reasonably for a relationship when your own children are older and your DH acts with clarity to manage it in the most healthy way for the younger ones, then maybe.

But until then? Nope.  

No threat to the family or younger kids can be tolerated.  Regarless of who that threat is.  

WwCorgi7's picture

No way she will grow up into a normal functioning adult she has major issues because BM is unstable. We have 3 1/2 years of CS left and then as soon as she turns 18 Dh is dropping her from his insurance and we will be done with her for good. Dh knows there is no salvaging and rebuilding the relationship with someone like her.

Justthesecondwife's picture

So glad for you that your DH has opened his eyes and sees SD for what she is. That's the biggest stuggle, I've found. From someone who's DH sees for a moment how disgusting SD is, but so quickly forgets and rushes to apease her again, I sincerely hope that your DH keeps his rose coloured glasses off. Your MIL too. If they can continue to move forward in that vein, that's most of the battle won. Good luck!

tog redux's picture

Good boundaries are key. I once saw someone compare narcissistic/borderline people to the raptors in Jurassic Park, testing the boundaries to see where they might get in (okay, very old movie reference).  Your MIL did well to block them and not engage. Just plan for occasional testing of the fence and hold the boundaries tight. 

BM here sent a random email last year, after a couple years of no contact, asking DH to help pay for something. HAHAHAHA. No. Ignore.

WwCorgi7's picture

Lol she had to give it a shot!  How do you get the balls to ask someone who you put through hell and haven't spoken to in years to help you financially? No shame.

tog redux's picture

Well, it was for SS, but he was 20 and she knows DH has never given her a penny over what he was ordered to - so testing the boundaries

halo1998's picture

nothing but a bunch of raptors testing the boundries.  Beaver, GWR and my own personal reptor..the Village Idiot.  The all test the boundries every once in while only to be zapped like a dog in electric fence.

DH blocked GWR so hard it makes Fort Knox look like a piece of cake.  DH learned by being the child of an alcoholic..shut em down and shut em down hard. 


advice.only2's picture

I think this was Spawn's tactic when she got in touch with DH a year ago...I think it was a fishing expedition to see what she could get out of him.  Because she did tell him about lack of having a job, that her cars were both having issues and that she was thinking of attending college.  DH didn't take the bait and the relationship pretty much fizzled after that.  I have heard Spawn does reach out to DH's father from time to time, I'm sure she keeps that line open in case for future, or maybe she has already tapped that money vein, it's not like DH's father would tell him if she did.

Beenall3kindsofmom's picture

my own DD is exactly like this.....has been since her teens. She only claims her siblings and my DH and I if there is some payoff for her. Th rest of the time.......nothing. She treats her own DS the same way. Disappears from his life for months, last time 2+ years and he’s only 7! Yet she’s shocked when he isn’t interested in spending time with her. She hasn’t remembered a single birthday or sent a single Christmas gift for him since she split from his DD, but was furious with the poor kid because he didn’t BUY her a card for her birthday, he made one himself. Believe me, narc’s are the most hurtful and distructive people to have in your life. You’re lucky your DH has seen the light.

CLove's picture

Feral Forger SD22 is still crashed at her mother Toxic Trolls apartment, still claiming to be ready to move out. So far, she hasnt texted anymore nasty texts, and has woken up long enough to get a job in a retail store. She will always be that albatross around our necks.