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BM's acquittance may be working with me

Cookieboom's picture

One of BM's acquittance’s has applied at the hospital to be a secretary at the nurse’s station in the ER (Where I work).  It looks like she may get the job. 

I am not sure if she knows about me, as BM thinks we broke up recently (She told SS, “I got rid of that skank, good luck getting another girl (about BF).”  I have not said anything to admin as I don’t want to make something out of nothing.

She came in today to drop of paperwork to admin, and kind of had an attitude, like she was “all that.” It was really weird. 

She fails to realize that I am the nursing supervisor in the ER and I will be her boss…..Gonna be interesting, she starts May first…

Cookieboom's picture

BM has no information on BF's life since she turned SS against me.  She has been recently creeping around BF's new apartment, offering to p/u and d/o SS when she always made BF d/o and p/u at her house.  But she's soooooo afraid of us????

notsurehowtodeal's picture

It just never ends, does it? I know I don't need to tell you, but be careful. Even though you will be her boss, this woman could still cause you problems when it comes to BM.

Rags's picture

is ever present it seems.

At least for many in blended relationships with prior failed family breeders.

Even in non-blended relationship life, toxic seems to be rarely cured and just when you think life is toxic free... blap.

It smacks us in the face.

Cookieboom's picture

I don't think she realizes that I am a nursing supervisor.  BM only knows that I am a nurse.  The secretary job is a very hard fast structured job with a lot of things going on at once.  There is alot of forced overtime.   I will be careful and see how this plays out.  

2Tired4Drama's picture

If you are to be this woman's boss, then do you have input into whether she is hired or not? When you say acquaintance, what do you mean - does she frequently see BM, is she considered a friend of BM's, or is she someone that BM might see once in a while in a casual setting?

This is an awful situation to be in. I once had a similar situation. My soon-to-be ex-husband (we were in the process of divorce) knew I was accepted for a new job which I had told him about. He told his flirtatious female "friend" the place was hiring and lo-and-behold guess who also got hired into my exact same office? 

It was a years-long nightmare. The woman was superficially friendly with me in the beginning but I could tell she was just being nosy and trying to get info out of me. There were times when she and my exH would be on phone conversations which she was intentional about making sure I could overhear. It was sickening. 

In any case, the caution is that when these situations occur it makes the work environment VERY difficult. At one point I did have to tell my boss the background of the situation so he was aware.  No one (boss or employee) likes it when personal lives get thrust into the workforce and make everyone uncomfortable.

In your situation you have to be even more cautious since you will be in a supervisory role with this woman.  If I were you, I'd make a stop into the HR office and let them know you have some concerns...

Cookieboom's picture

I could have some input, but I am not sure how this woman knows BM, I believe BM might see once in a while in a casual setting.  I asked BF about it and he doesn’t think BM knows her that well, and he has never heard of this woman when he was with BM, and BM never spoke of her nor hung out with her. The times she has come in to meet admin she was walking with her nose up in the air.

I do not believe this woman is going to last.  The job is very past paced, you have to do a lot of things at once, i.e. answer phones, help out the nurses with phone calls, meet patients, supplies, etc.  We are VERY short staffed and the secretary will help us out with anything we need (Not medical procedures but other non-medical tasks).  We have had alot of young people get hired, and very quickly did not like the job and resign within the first month.  

Plus, there is a ton of forced overtime if the other secretaries call out (Which is a lot, we have a bunch of young nurses right out of school and secretarial staff that don’t want to work over 40 hours, and they all want nights/holidays/weekends off). I think the main problem is going to be the forced overtime that is probably 2-3 times per week.  Ever since Covid alot of people didn't want to work and I have been getting 3-4 double shifts per week.  

I am going to see how this pans out and will make a stop into the HR office and let them know of my concerns, as I would have some pull but it would be after she is hired and starts trouble. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

That job sounds crappy lol. And she prob won't have time to cause drama if it's as fast-paced as you say. 

grannyd's picture

Hey, Cookieboom,

Another victim of the site’s most unbalanced bio-moms (as named in one of my earlier comments) appears! 

Hon, my elder daughter (a workaholic who always has two jobs) worked weekends as a ward clerk for a sizeable hospital and carried out a variety of duties in addition to secretarial work. To name a few essentials, ward clerks must know medical terms, be aware of patient movements, know what rooms are vacant, communicate with medical staff, employees and patients’ families and be aware of what’s happening on their ward throughout their shifts.

 They must have outstanding organizational skills, compassion and empathy. My daughter hit the ground running as soon as she arrived at work and continued, at break-neck speed, until her shift was over. Because my daughter is a high-energy ‘A’ type, the work suited her. If your husband’s ex’s acquaintance is the slightest bit haughty or lazy, her co-workers will bring her down a peg or two. 

The work that nurses perform can get gritty and they do not suffer fools gladly. They respected my daughter since she was game for any request (she has some hair-raising tales about her involvement with amputated and transplant ‘material’) and was willing to work evening overtime (for clerks who habitually ‘phoned in’) despite having worked all day at her demanding, full-time profession. I suspect that your new hire is going to get a big surprise when she discovers what the job really entails. 

It’ll be tricky for you, finding a balance between your supervisory expectations and the possibility of this ‘acquaintance’ and ‘ol batshit crazy being on closer terms than your partner supposed. The suggestion of your informing your own boss of a possible conflict on the horizon is solid; best to get there before trouble arises. 


Cookieboom's picture

But there is downtime especially on the overnight shift when I'm doing overtime 

Rags's picture

DW's childhood/HS BFF works with DW's SIL's (BIL2's DW) cousin.  THe SIL talks to her cousin who runs into work and drops  "(DW) will be here today.  Betcha didn't know that."

I hate when petty moron manipulative people crawl out from under the slime covered rock that they should never leave at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pools to play the "Look at meeeeee!" game.



Do not let BM's "friend" be a detriment to your work and life. Keep them crushed... within the boundaries of work rules/policies. Take care of you.