What a mess of a weekend! We went to a baseball game, it was my idea, I thought FSD7 would enjoy it, and we could all hang out as a "family." FDH has been super busy with work for the last week, so I realize if I want to spend time with him it likely has to be with FSD7. Normally I just do my own thing and let them have Father/Daughter time. What I didn't realize is that baseball is often really boring for little girls, my bad. She also ran around all day swimming and what not, so she was tired and it was a late night for her. She was disappointed I think because I was there, and we weren't going to the fair like she thought (FDH couldn't get tickets), so she threw a temper tantrum and pouted, which bothered me a bit because of the effort I was putting in, but I realize she's just a kid.
FDH kept walking ahead of me and holding her hand, and left me in the back feeling left out. FSD7 also kept purposely walking on the side of her dad I was on, so he couldn't walk by me. They also left me alone for like 45 minutes to go participate in different activities, and didn't invite me to come along, and I expressed to my FDH that I don't appreciate being left alone for so long, we're all there together. Mind you, I planned this for all of us to be together, bought tickets, and tried to have a good time. I asked him quietly to stop making me feel like the third wheel, and I understand him having to hold her hand to cross the street and in crowds, but it is not necessary to hold hands and cuddle up to each other all day. It started making me feel rather uncomfortable and left out. He said he would stop, and did it again, almost immediately. While I was trying to keep my feelings from FSD7, FDH yelled out loud "what, do you not want me to hold my daughter's hand at all??" So instantly she got really awkward, but he did stop holding her hand and started holding mine.
Well, now FDH has a voicemail from FMIL saying "We need to talk, alone without your girlfriend, about the way you treated FSD7 last night, and that you brought THAT woman along." I've never been anything but nice to FSD7 (to her face, I generally don't care for her attiude at all), and I feel like she went to FMIL to pout because she didn't get her way. Not to mention, I wasn't trying to barge in on their time, or cause problems, I quietly tried to tell FDH how I was feeling. I feel the negativity from FMIL towards me is unwarranted, and she's so consumed with catering to everything FSD7 wants.
FMIL does this constantly. At Christmas, the older cousins didn't want to play with FSD7 because she's mean and bossy and wouldn't comprimise on what to play, and FMIL went and made the other kids play with her. She lets her crawl all over her every chance she gets, sleep in her bed, hold hands everywhere, lets her not say please and thank you, lets her demand she do things for her and with her, and lets FSD7 boss her around. Just because FDH is working on stopping these things, doesn't mean he's "treating her" like anything, it will only benefit her to be more independent and confident. And certainly the negativity toward me is not justified. This is not an easy situation, not a situation she even wants to begin to understand, and I think she feels like she doesn't have control over her son like she used to, and is taking it out on me. She is super passive aggressive with everyone, and she knows what she says will get back to me, so I think she is using her grandchild to try to regain control over her son. It's ultra annoying, but luckily he doesn't really like her much, he frequently says that if FMIL wasn't helping so much by watching FSD7 during the days for the summer he probably wouldn't talk to her at all, and he's told me that his mom is crazy and never happy, so when she's mad it doesn't bother him. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings and frustrate me, but it is what it is.
Luckily, FMIL watched FSD7 on Sunday so FDH could go to my family BBQ for my bday without her, and FSD7 got to have a fun day with Grandma, so it ended on a positive note!