I keep thinking about this. As SMs we disengage (avoid) interaction with these kids. Is this not giving them more power?
I know it's done to ease SMs anxiety. I just refuse to continue to hide or avoid some kid. I pay the bills, it's my house, I buy the food, Why am I avoiding, hiding, or finding something better to do?
I work 9 hour days all week. I just want to sit at my house, on my sofa and watch my 18mo old daughter play. Interact with my kids, DH and not have to tipy toe or avoid some Dang kid who is 11 years old.
I hate the dynamic and the stress it puts on all of us. DD18mo's basically looses a sister when SD11 and SD9 are their because they like to dominate BD10's time or fuss with her or whatever.
Bs13 will get to the point where he wants to avoid them, so he'll be watching a show, SD11 will come sit right beside him, start yaking it up. SD11 hates BS13's guts right? Doesn't want him to say anything to her?
A few months ago after xmas, SD11 was whining that BS13 went in the field with his copter to get away from "you know who" was what she said, and he was being mean to her. I flew off the handle, she treats BS13 like shit, but she expects him to want her around when she does.
So now Bs13 and I, hide/disappear or go in a different location. The weekend is like a big game of musical chairs going on.
Why do we have to avoid/disengage when it's our HOME! I think I'm just tired of this dynamic.
Who doesn't avoid/disengage? Why do you or dont you?