Since this is a venting site--I never thought much about this until yesterday's blogs. Adult SKs have just as much right to disengage from SM as the SMs have the right to disengage from them. BUT, as a full time custodial SM, my SD11 has pretty much disengaged from both DH and I. It's strange and uncomfortable. My house in no longer a home and my home is not my own. SD will make every effort to avoid any type of contact. Including eye contact and even avoids passing me in the hallway!

We have both tried and tried to get her to interact in a "family" environment but we can't force the kid to speak. Even when she does speak, almost everything she says is either inappropriate, mean, or just plain annoying. She's almost 12 yo and it's not like I can force her mouth open and make her talk.

You might ask why would my DH allow a child living in our house full-time to disengage, but every attempt to bring SD into a conversation ends in failure. DH will tell her to come out of her room and hang out. DH and I will discuss upcoming vacations, past vacations, what's going on in the news, music, and all types of things. SD will sit with her head down staring at the floor and picking her nasty dirty toenails. Pretend to not notice other people are there. DH will say "Hey, are you paying attention? Do you have anything to say about that?" SD will act surprised and say, "What? I didn't hear what you were talking about." Just one example of how teaching interaction ends up. When she's out with others, she acts normal for the most part so I don't think she's an Aspie. She's in school and plays with friends after school. She is just disengaged here. You'd have to see it to believe it.

Maybe some of you have been successful at step-parenting but in my case, I have just felt like the biggest failure. Since this is a venting site, just had to get it out of my system because I don't think there's much help for my case. You'd have to see it to believe it.