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Anyone else think this is poor behavior?

newwtostepguy's picture

SS (9) sits at the dinner table in charge of the tv remote. As we are talking he continuously turns up the volume in order to block us out. He asks his mom for second then thirds without a please of thank you unless he is told repeatedly. He eats with his hands even though he’s been told not to repeatedly and knows perfectly well how to use utensils. I think his behavior is rude but his mom sees nothing wrong with it and there’s no sense in bringing it up if she thinks it’s normal.

georgina29's picture

Of course it’s poor behavior but it’s mom’s fault for allowing and encouraging it. Eats with his hands? Disgusting. I wouldn’t want to eat with him at the table. It would ruin my appetite quickly.

SteppedOut's picture

Whew, you are giving me flashbacks OP.

My formerSS13(!) didn't use utensils either. It was DISGUSTING. I literally gagged a couple times and eventually refused to eat anywhere near him. He also got peanut butter out of the jar and sucked it off his fingers, not just one scoop, over and over - and omg the fact I wouldn't eat any out of the jar was a big deal? GROSS. Of course, I was being mean and making him feel bad....

Other family members thought it was "cute" or "funny" and gave him positive attention for the nasty behavior. Only a female cousin his age thought it was gross also.

This kid will likely never change. Might I recommend eating at a different time? Or different location?

tog redux's picture

You know that we will all say this is poor behavior. So what do you plan to do?   I, personally, would not eat dinner at the table with him anymore, until she agreed to some basic rules.

(I also wouldn't stay married to someone who was such a poor parent).

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'm trying to figure out why you're still with this chick. A few months ago, you said you weren't getting anything out of the relationship. So why are you still there??

susanm's picture

Good Lord dude.  Is this the first woman you have seen naked?  Trust me - we all look vaguely similar and you will find another one who will agree to touch your special place.  Leaving this woman and her spawn behind will not end your sex life forever.

Ericka2722's picture

I’m wondering why the TV is even allowed to be on during dinner for him to turn up in the first place? 

TrueNorth77's picture

I would take the remote and turn the TV off, then put the remote in a different room. End of story. 

And then I would break up with her because this relationship is doomed.

shamds's picture

Especially asians so its not disgusting and hands are always washed before and after. Is sk caucasian or another ethnicity?

when remote is brought to table sk should be asked to place it on coffee table or bench next to tv and turn volume down or tv will be turned off. Let the awkward silence come on

Rags's picture

Quit giving him  the remote.... ever.

Eats with his hands.... dog bowl on the floor. That is where he eats or he starves.

Set the standards of behavior in your home.  Enforce those standards.  If your SO doesn’t like how you discipline then she can step up and get it done befuyoh have to or bite her tongue and have your back.  If she does step up she must enforce the household behavioral standards.

Maganamitre04's picture

I have a SS10 whom when first started coming around didn't know any basic table manners or etiquette at all!!! He twirls his hair, eats with his hands, elbows on the table with hand on his head like dinner is boring, and never washed up before or after meals!!! 

So, after reading that and you know, as well as we know that this table manners are horrible- why not say something?!


I did- I had a long conversation about with my DH. I informed him that his table manners weren't at the best and advised slowly that he should wash his hands before or after meals. USE UTENSILS and stop the slouching too. It's a 10 minute sit down and to eat- why was this task so hard to learn- especially as a child and why did him and his mother feel it's ok to be this way? I didn't care how I said because at the point I was at I did not even want to eat with them at the table because it was disgusting to see and DH, as well, didn't see a issue! But I made it one because this is just disgusting. 

if you don't say anything or speak up it will always continue and it will disgust you every time.