Why does your DH "need" to see his buddy twice a week for hours, are they in high school? 
 

And once again he demonstrates that he cares nothing about your feelings. Tell him  yes, go visit him at his house and drive drunk if you want. Don't let him manipulate you that way. 

if the Mr had a buddy coming over that much I know I'd have an issue with it. Home is where I can be comfortable and relax and let my hair down. If a non-us person invades my space I can't relax or just be mellow. It's not in me to not be 'on duty' with company here. So I get you. I really do. 

Your husband isn't respecting you or valueing his time with you. What do you get out of a relationship with him? We know what he gets but you seem to be last on his list and I want to kick him in the man marbles for it. 

but don't call me from jail. I will not post bail and I will not get an attorney for you.  I may get an attorney for myself and file for divorce though.

And I get the whole want my house to myself.  Sheesh....the other guy needs to find another hobby

Start referring to him as "your boyfriend" and see where that leads.

I do generally think that the adult occupants should have some level of authority over hosting people in their home.  Now, I will have to say that while SD15 is her own set of issues and likely contributes to the general frustration.. I would really try to see her situation as discrete and separate from the buddy.

And.. I get it.. once a week having your buddy over to your house doesn't seem on the face of it entirely excessive.. and he DOES bring his own food and drink for the most part.. so there is THAT to be thankful for..haha.  But, when it's once or TWICE a week and monopolizing the house and then your DH doesn't really end up with the cleaning etc?  I think it would be fair to say.. yeah... I think you should probably go to his house some... and you could always make sure to not drink so much that you are impaired.  Or you could UBER home..   OR.. Clove.. you could offer to pick him up a couple times a month from his buddies.. and while it may not be 100% fair to put that on you.. you would at least have the house to yourself for a few hours!

So, maybe at that point picking the hard is what you need to do.

If you don't want the buddy there every week.. ask your DH to alternate visits... and if he brings up the drinking.. you could offer up some solutions.. UBER/responsible drinking etc...  You could also tell him that you might tolerate 1x per week.. but more than that is excessive.. and he needs to tell his buddy it's not a good time to do that.

I mean, does your DH have no boundaries or self-control whatsoever in any aspect of his life? It's either that or he has to go get drunk at the friend's house twice a week and drive home? I'd be tempted to let him go and then drop the dime on him when he leaves to go home. I wouldn't actually do it, but the thought would cross my mind.

If he insists on having the friend so much, make them drink outside. And they can pee outside too. At least they aren't in your house.

Uh, no.  I have friends, and also really like my neighbors but I don't hang with them that much. I'm BUSY and have stuff to do!  I'd start cutting this down if possible or just letting your H go - but anything that happens as a  consequence is on him. (hopefully no drunk driving b/c that would effect you too).  You aren't helping your H with too much are you?  I don't do DH's laundry, help him clean up his myriad of piles around the house (other than to consolidate them sometimes), nor do I do his dishes - he can take care of his personal stuff.  If you are you need to stop;.

My sister had a firend who would be over to her house pretty much EVERY DAY  for hours!  She'd just stop by.  My sister started hiding from her and not answering the door b/c it was too much. The last time I was there on vacation this woman was there almost all day for two days in a row, breakfast - dinner and I had almost no alone time with my own sister. It was very, very annoying and rude. My sister moved and now that's taken care of I think - I was telling her be direct and tell her no more.

When we moved in May, DH's closest friend started just "dropping by" several times a week. The first week was totally fine I mean we just moved here and know basically no one. After 4 weeks of this especially when they also work together 40+ hours a week, I told DH he had to put a stop to it. Luckily for me, my DH was not a fan of his just dropping by either so he had a conversation with him about it and he has only done it once since then. That was the day he came over to tell us about DH's work being shot up so neither of us minded. Now DH is like I only want to do something with him once every other weekend because he spends so much time with him at work and he just wants quality time with me, especially when his friends talks about work alllll the time.

I am sorry you are not having any personal space and it is several people encroaching on your home, that really sucks. Personally, I would tell my DH that a guys night once a week is fine and they can take turns who hosts if they want, but you want to know ahead what day it is so you can plan accordingly to do something for yourself. I don't think a night a week to hang out with a buddy is a bad thing, but multiple times a week, unannounced, and your DH not caring how you feel about it? No thanks.

CLove, I honestly think your DH doesn't like you.  He finds every opportunity to spend time away from you (fishing, friends, etc).  The way he has used you for his kids and personal benefit and then does nothing in return.....it breaks my heart   Those are the tough times in examining your relationship.  I have (am) at that point for quite some time now....just haven't moved on anything yet either..

Does he fish with this guy to? Or does he do that with someone else? If he spends one or two nights a week with this guy and most weekends fishing - when do you guys spend time together just hanging out? I know you go to lots of events together, but it doesn't sound like you spend any time just being with each other. Which is fine, if it is what you both want - but I think you would like more one-on-one time with just your DH. And of course this cuts into any time that he might actually spend with his daughter.

I have a colleague/friend who a couple of decades ago was a couch surfer.   I recruited him to my company at the time.  His wife at the time (#2) was a school teacher who had started that school year and could not break her contract.  So his three daughters stayed with their SM for nearly a year until the end of the school year when they joined him.  For nearly a  year he imposed on several coworkers.  Not us, I never offered.

A number of years later I recruited him to a second company.  After I left that company and we moved to the Mid Atlantic region he and his 2nd DW divorced.  Our home was available so we let him live there rent free until we were able to sell the house.

A couple of years later I recruited him to a third company.  He lived in our guest room for several months  until I told him that my family needed to return to normalcy.  It was oddly uncomfortable to get him out and into his own place.

Years later he visited us in Qatar for a month.

I just hired him at a fourth company.  He will stay with me for a couple of weeks until his truck and RV are delivered. He is out before my bride joins me in 4 weeks.

Be direct with the friend.  "My home and marriage needs to return to normalcy.  You  are welcome to visit one afternoon/evening every other week."  You pick the day of the week.   Take it out of DH's hands.