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Anyone else think this is poor behavior?

newwtostepguy's picture

SS (9) sits at the dinner table in charge of the tv remote. As we are talking he continuously turns up the volume in order to block us out. He asks his mom for second then thirds without a please of thank you unless he is told repeatedly. He eats with his hands even though he’s been told not to repeatedly and knows perfectly well how to use utensils. I think his behavior is rude but his mom sees nothing wrong with it and there’s no sense in bringing it up if she thinks it’s normal.

georgina29's picture

Of course it’s poor behavior but it’s mom’s fault for allowing and encouraging it. Eats with his hands? Disgusting. I wouldn’t want to eat with him at the table. It would ruin my appetite quickly.

SteppedOut's picture

Whew, you are giving me flashbacks OP.

My formerSS13(!) didn't use utensils either. It was DISGUSTING. I literally gagged a couple times and eventually refused to eat anywhere near him. He also got peanut butter out of the jar and sucked it off his fingers, not just one scoop, over and over - and omg the fact I wouldn't eat any out of the jar was a big deal? GROSS. Of course, I was being mean and making him feel bad....

Other family members thought it was "cute" or "funny" and gave him positive attention for the nasty behavior. Only a female cousin his age thought it was gross also.

This kid will likely never change. Might I recommend eating at a different time? Or different location?

tog redux's picture

You know that we will all say this is poor behavior. So what do you plan to do?   I, personally, would not eat dinner at the table with him anymore, until she agreed to some basic rules.

(I also wouldn't stay married to someone who was such a poor parent).

Aniki's picture

I'm trying to figure out why you're still with this chick. A few months ago, you said you weren't getting anything out of the relationship. So why are you still there??

susanm's picture

Good Lord dude.  Is this the first woman you have seen naked?  Trust me - we all look vaguely similar and you will find another one who will agree to touch your special place.  Leaving this woman and her spawn behind will not end your sex life forever.

Ericka2722's picture

I’m wondering why the TV is even allowed to be on during dinner for him to turn up in the first place? 

Step-girlfriend's picture

I would take the remote and turn the TV off, then put the remote in a different room. End of story. 

And then I would break up with her because this relationship is doomed.

Iamwoman's picture

I'm assuming you're just venting, because you KNOW that his table manners are lacking and you KNOW that his mom will do nothing to change it, and you have already decided not to say anything.

Table manners are easy. There are rules written in black and white. It's not a matter of opinion. There are hundreds of ettiquette books addressing this very issue. What you are appalled with is your wife being ok with poor manners and poor ettiquette.

Her "seeing nothing wrong with it" is not her announcing that she has rewritten the book on proper table manners. It is her announcing that she has no aspirations for herself or her offspring to ever fit into a higher class of society. She is limiting her son's future job options because many decent jobs include a "meal interview" style, and table manners are a must. She is limiting her and her son's social interactions, because people like me will never want to be close with someone who doesn't practice basic ettiquette and manners. She is limiting his future relationship options to women who will accept such slobbish behavior (this leaves out any woman who has one iota of class).

Even worse, she is limiting YOUR social, career, and other options as well. ANYONE who dines with you or sees you out dining, will assume you are a family unit, and that you are just as responsible for raising a cretin as is your wife.

shamds's picture

Especially asians so its not disgusting and hands are always washed before and after. Is sk caucasian or another ethnicity?

when remote is brought to table sk should be asked to place it on coffee table or bench next to tv and turn volume down or tv will be turned off. Let the awkward silence come on

Rags's picture

Quit giving him  the remote.... ever.

Eats with his hands.... dog bowl on the floor. That is where he eats or he starves.

Set the standards of behavior in your home.  Enforce those standards.  If your SO doesn’t like how you discipline then she can step up and get it done befuyoh have to or bite her tongue and have your back.  If she does step up she must enforce the household behavioral standards.