Almost lost it today
There have been many times in the last 9yrs that I've come close to losing my temper with sd but I didn't because I didn't want any trouble. Well today if I could have gotten my hands on her I'd probably be sitting in jail right now instead of talking to you all. I was putting laundry away, H sitting in front of his computer playing games, when I heard a crash from the kitchen. I go flying in there thinking the dog broke something, but it was sd. She had smashed my grandmother's teapot and was stomping the pieces into dust. I know it was on purpose because I kept it on a cabinet shelf by itself so it wouldn't get knocked down and broken. I was furious and still am. My grandmother helped raise me and loved me enough to give me her teapot before she died. It was her grandmother's, her mother brought it with her when she came over from Ireland. I really think I would have choked the snot out of her if I could have caught her. H is all " I'll buy you another one, it's no big deal." Sure he'll replace it like he's said he would replace everything else of mine she's destroyed. I told him to go jump in his time machine and get it back. My grandmother and I used to have tea parties with it and I had tea with my sons with it. There were many, many happy memories in side that little brown pot. Am I wrong to be upset?? 
At least it was the last breakable thing I had left.
NOT WRONG!!!!
oh my god!!! I would still be crying, and I'm not even kidding. she deliberately did this???? And she's not going to be punished??? :O
My greatgrandmother lived with my parents and I from the time I was 2-13. In many ways she was more a mom to me than my mom was. I was immensely close with her, in fact I still wear her wedding ring on a chain around my neck. Personally I would rain down a rage storm like you would not believe if someone, ANYONE deliberately desecrated my relationship, or anything that tied me to my gramma. NO one in my immediate vicinity would manage to stay dry. I know you have a bad situation ferretmom, and your posts often make me feel sad for you, but this makes me so so angry too!!!!
from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.
punishment
was there no retribution for this heinous act??
she is despicable and so is your H for not REACTING...
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
that is awful
why is ur DH overlooking this?? oh wait, i know. his precious daughter wouldnt DARE be capable of doing that on purpose...she is PERFECT and would NEVER do that to u or ANYONE for that matter.
what a heinous little bitch.
my g-rents helped raise me so i get what that meant to u and even if DH doesnt, he should get that it DID mean something to u. tell him to pull his head out of his ass.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
OMG!
You're not wrong in feeling the way that you do. You have some special memories tied to that teapot; not to mention that it was irreplaceable! I would still be crying about it too!
I was close to my granny, and when she died, she gave me several cake plates that she had been collecting. Several of those are discontinued and impossible to find. I would be absolutely heartbroken if they got broken, especially on purpose!
I can't believe that your DH is being so lackadaisical about it. Heads SHOULD be rolling over this one!
I wish your sons were home
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
A couple of strong big young men. they'd have you so out of there.
I wouldn't be getting over this one easily if I were you. My Grandma lived with us for years while I was growing up and I TREASURE anything that is left from that dear sweet lady. I'm sorry.
I personally don't know how you kept from pulling all the hair from her head when you found her stomping it into the floor. And your H? Obviously he is not going to change. Hope your boys teach him a lesson or two when they get back.
Not wrong at all
If that had been me I would have lost it! Punishment is a must. I can't believe your H was like a replacement would make it all better, when it has emotional value. Crazy! I would have lost it and that little PITA would have been in a corner somewhere for the rest of the day.
WHY? dear GOD, WHY?
Did you ask her WHY she would even touch your precious article?
Lord knows she's not sophisticated enough to touch a teapot, so your initial feeling that this was done on purpose is probably correct.
So why did she have her grubby paws on it?
And what was her punishment?
I'm telling you, ferretmom, with THIS totally callous, HEINOUS act, along with the others she has done over the past month or so, it is TIME to get her awful butt out of your home.
Enough is enough.
I am truly sorry for you. I'm am right there, shaking in anger and sadness for you.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Heck ya!
This is similar to my first thought which was take a baseball bat to everything near and dear to that little bitch. And stuff that's not breakable, throw it out. Strip her room down to a pad on the floor and 3 changes of clothes. Lock her in and feed her bread and water for 2 months in a pan on the floor.
I can't believe she's so evil. I'm so sorry for you and your H just sits there??? How awful!
I would take something of
I would take something of hers that she holds near and dear.. then I would stomp that item to pieces.. ask her how it feels, and let her know its NOT getting replaced.. just like the teapot couldnt be replaced.
What a heinous act that was.
How old is she?
You have every right to be upset!
Isn't it just like a BF to stick up for SD and just push your feelings aside? I'm not saying all but it seems most of them do. You have every reason to be upset. Did you tell DH you know she did it on purpose?
I'd be screaming up and down. Out of all the things that would be the last straw. Of course my DH would think of some way to blame me for the pot ending up smashed, and he would do it right in front of SD, thus "confirming" my stupidity. After that SD'd be texting all her friends about the incident. Oh, that's right. She lost her brand new cell phone again. Not to worry. DH will buy her a new one right away.
Take something of hers and "lose" it. I've done that before and stood innocently while saying that I didn't know where the object was. Of course SD glared at me but I didn't flinch. Of course I didn't destroy the object because we are not children and cannot do things like that. That would be stooping way too low anyway.
yournotmyrealmom
It seems her mp3 somehow got
It seems her mp3 somehow got flushed down the toilet while she was taking her nappy. Don't have a clue as to how it happened. Oh and his hard drive had a major crash, he lost everything. }:)
sweeet!
LOVE IT!!
i bet it was those same little muchkins that steals one my socks out of the dryer --
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
You go, girl! Enough of the doormat phase!
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
And I'm sure the widdle princess is sooo upset.
Maybe she could cut off and sell some of that hair that keeps ending up in yur food to replace her MP3! No, never mind. Doesn't sound like it's the kindof hair anyone would want to make a wig from. Alas. Poor dear.
A year ago I had my hair cut
A year ago I had my hair cut and donated to Locks for Love. Sd wanted to because it would make her look bad not to but the salon that was doing it wouldn't take her hair. They said it was TOOOOO nasty. They better watch out cause if they try to play stupid games with me they won't have a chance. I love a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. }:) My Gran didn't raise an idiot.
Tit for tat
I think every time she does something now, she needs to get the same back plus ten.
That is what I started doing to BM til I finally shut her up! She likes to say terrible things about DH to SD, well that is a two way street, and she was shocked that we finally stood up to her and now won't even talk in fear of getting put in her place, which is great.
You had to do something back to her to teach her to respect you. Keep up the good work!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Whoa, wait . . .
You actually got BM to stop talking smack about DH to SD?? How?
Please teach me your ways, wise one.
Hey!
Well not to our face at least - its a lot quieter anyway!
Yes she would always preach everything DH ever did, and there was some stuff, but never mention what she did re. partying, screwing around in the marriage, work stuff, so finally she had SD talking smack to DH to where SD and I got into an argument about it and I told her she better respect her dad.
When it continued I wrote SD a letter that told her all the stuff we had never told her (she was 16 at the time). It actually got worse but from then on every time BM or SD would pipe up I would say more stuff that we were never going to say about things that BM had done and it got really embarrassing for them. Maybe that's why they are not speaking to us now? oh well! So that part is bad(?), no for DH it is bad.
But it needed to be said, the longer it wasn't said, the bolder BM got. She actually believed we would never stand up to her.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Aaaaahhh
Ya, I've considered writing a book titled "All About Your Mother" for the skids for when they get older. She's a real piece of work. I would hate to jeopardize their relationship with their dad though.
As it is now, FH has an aunt that will set the skids straight on any BS she hears them spout coming from their mom. The sad thing is, the oldest is only nine and she's already put some things together and figured out her mom is a liar.
That's the thing
SD claims to support BM in all the 'decisions' she made. BM started it by telling her things that were inappropriate to her age for years, then when she was about grown I did say stuff back, with DH's approval. I want to put specifics because both BM and SD were really mean but am not sure if I want them to know its me or not just in case?
But SD thinks her mom hung the moon and DH is a piece of crap - and you know what? to me that means we don't need to waste money or time on her then! She wants to talk Shite when she's with her mom then be daddy's girl when she is with us, hand out in all directions - no longer happening! (SD will be 18 in March)
THAT's why the anger now I think but whatever, I am satisfied but they are p.o.'d this way. Being two faced to me gets you jacked! and I consider they are the ones that ruined a previously good relationship I thought! Sorry it just is such a waste, fully sponsored and encouraged by BM unless DH kisses *ss! which thank God he is not doing any more.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I would be so angry and devastated
That is irreplaceable. (sp?) What is her problem? What a little bitch. I can't believe that dh reacted the way he did. I would be pissed at him too. She is never going to change as long as he continues to under-react.
Ummm
that would be an instance where I would bust her butt, my kid or not. That is uncalled for. I don't think I would be able to hold back in that circumstance. I don't think she's going to change until someone does exactly that! Sorry your teapot got broken.
I wanted to strangle her but
I wanted to strangle her but I want to stay out of jail more. She knows now and him too that for every thing of mine she breaks I'm taking out two of hers and his too. He picks on me, calls it teasing, about being a hillbilly and knowing the Hatfields and McCoys. Now he knows just how right he is. If any of you saw Next of Kin, that was filmed near where I'm from and yes it's really like that.
write a book
that is a great idea, i saw on my FSS myspace how she wants to get a job to spend money on her mom cuz her mom has NOTHING..the mom sacrificed sooo much.
wtf?
letz see she got the all the furniture she gets child support, those kids have every electical toy a kid could want. she has a brand new car (we dont) ugh, oh letz not forget that good ol mom refused to let daddy see the kids for months cuz she wanted to make him miserable. that she took him to court to rape him of every dime he had... yeah poor mommy.
sorry do I sound bitter?
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
farrettmom
If my H told me that something that valuable to me could be replaced I would tell him the same thing....you can be replaced too! I hope your DH gave her some kind of punishment other than the mp3 "slipping" into the toilet. BTW that is great!
Ok, I just went back
Ok. I just went back and read some of your blogs. I thought you were dealing with a child SD. Even though the behavior still isn't acceptable from a child, but a 19 y/o. WOW !!!! I can't believe DH is actually sticking up for her. Is she still in high school? If not, why is she still living with you? Is BM still in the picture? She is old enough to get a job and get her own place. You would be so much happier without her trying to sabotage your life and marriage.
Sd is a junior and no one
Sd is a junior and no one knows where bm is at. She couldn't hold a job for more then 30 min, I helped her get one last summer and that how long it lasted.
OMG I thought
she was 9, not 19!! Is she mental?
This is a little off topic but I have a friend that I work with that has a 21 year old guy (boy)messing with her 16 year old daughter. This boy's father is a sheriffs deputy and when my friend complained to the sheriff, they did not do anything. So my friend told the boy if she caught him around her daughter again what she was going to do to him. The kid didn't listen. My friend got after this guy this past weekend with a baseball bat. Ha! She got her point across and she is filing charges on him. LE is afraid to do anything to my friend as far as filing charges on her for beating him up because she told LE she was going to call every newspaper and Tv station if they did. I'm proud of my friend. I know this situation is more extreme, but I think that if people were to show these brats things like this we might not have so many messed up kids today. The baseball bat might have been a little extreme but I doubt the guy is going to bother her daughter again.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac