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Do we ever do anything right

ferretmom's picture

I don't know about any of you but my H is one of those people that if you don't agree with him 100% then you're totally WRONG. For years now I've had to listen to him bitch and moan and complain when my thoughts and opinions don't follow his. I've told him several times that this is a free country and I have the right to my own opinions. When I disagree with him and can prove I'm right he starts picking at every little thing I do and say. Lately my response has been if he can do it better then do it himself. But when I stand up for myself it's his opinion that I'm being too aggressive and stubborn. Today he was blaming this site for my attitude. He put his foot down and forbid me to ever go here again. Guess what it didn't work. Blum 3 I told him where he could stick his foot. }:) My father taught me to be an independent thinker and to stand up for my beliefs. I'm sick and ashamed of myself for letting this man keep me from being true to myself. But I'm thankful to all of you for giving me the courage to be myself once again. Hopefully I'll get there soon. I love you all.

SAD's picture

Ferretmom you are on the right track. Be true to your feelings. It sounds like he is very controlling and will obviously need time to adjust to an Independent woman that doesn't want to be a door mat!

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

sarahbernheart's picture

FerretM..I had a husband similar to yours...i say HAD!
he wanted to keep me down all the time cuz it gave him all the power, after I sought help for myself he got worse- now I am free from him and I love it.

your dad was a smart man- we love you and are here for ya

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

KittyKat's picture

And whether or not I'm PMS!! There are times he will argue with me over the DUMBEST things. Usually I just blow him off because I know that this, too, shall pass. If it's "that time" and I'm on my last nerve, well, we have us a FIGHT!!

MOST of the time, my H is the sweetest guy on the face of the earth. It's just those OTHER times when he thinks he knows it all when I'm ready to blow HIM off.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

Endora's picture

Married for 20 years to a man who:

"I don't know about any of you but my H is one of those people that if you don't agree with him 100% then you're totally WRONG".

He could not believe I left after 20 years but he could not even modify his behavior so it just did not work for his children or myself.

FM you certainly have your hands full with that type of DH! I would plan extended vacations every year! Hats off!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

secondwife20's picture

Don't let anyone ever rob you of that right to have your own opinions.

As for H, mine is the same way... but only if it's regarding Blabb. Anything I say about that child is always wrong!

I don't know how you do it though... living with a man who tries to tell you how wrong you are all the time. Stay strong!

ferretmom's picture

It's not just parenting it's everything. I can say the grass needs mowed and he has to argue that it doesn't even when it's knee high. If I say I like comedies on tv I'm stupid. I like vegetables so I'm a nut job. I'm seriously thinking that the next time he goes to the VA, he won't go with out me, I may speak to his doctor about a psych evaluation. I really think he needs to be on meds, he thinks the world is out to get him and everyone is involved in a giant conspiracy to make him miserable. There are days that I think he's crazier than a June bug. I could go on and on but I don't want to bore anyone. One last thing is that when we first got married I suggested getting sd examined by a speech therapist because she changes any word with ing to ink. Plus her teachers had sent several messages home about it. All I got from that was grief and several years of picking on my accent. I truly believe that the majority of sd's bad behavior can be laid at H's feet.

ferretmom's picture

Are these men mentally ill?? I've quit trying and I rarely talk to him about anything that I feel is important. For that matter I don't talk to him much anymore about anything.