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Are you kidding me?

Nymh's picture

SS is here now. BM dropped him off while I was at work. I came in and saw that he has more medications than usual. However, these are meds that were filled a long time ago - one was filled in 2006 and one was filled in 2007...meaning that she didn't take him to the doctor, she's just treating him with stuff that she had lying around left over. One of them is already expired. This is what she sends for us to use. BF informs me that BM is picking SS up on Monday morning on the way to his doctor appointment. You mean to tell me that he's been out of school all week because he's been "sick" and instead of taking him to the doctor one of those days, she sets up an appointment for a future day so that she has to keep him out of school again? He hasn't been to school since April 18th! Come on, seriously! The part that ticks me off the most is that BF sees nothing wrong with this! He's actually mad at me right now for the whole thing because I asked, "You mean SS isn't going to school on Monday either?"

Oh, and currently SS is in the other room playing a computer game. He's jumping around, yelling, talking smack, whistling...not exactly the portrait of a sick child if you ask me. But heaven forbid I say anything about it!

Comments

Nymh's picture

Medications are safe until their expiration date. After this time, they can deteriorate and do not work or can be harmful. Medicine (over-the-counter and prescribed) can become poisonous when it ages and result in death. If not stored properly, medications can expire before the expiration date. When air, humidity, heat, or sunlight makes contact with medications, they can be altered regardless of expiration date.

Proper Storage
When choosing storage areas remember the conditions that can change medications and store them in cool, dry, and dark places. It is ideal to have the temperature be between 59 and 80 degrees. This does not describe the bathroom shelves or kitchen cupboards. In fact, those places are thought to be the last areas to store your medication. Those locations can have heat, humidity, and sunlight. Medications will decompose and lose potency under such conditions. The refrigerator, hall closet, or dresser drawer, are recommended as safe storage areas. Make sure to place medications where children cannot find them. It is a good idea to lock them in a cabinet to prevent child access. Expired medicine is a leading cause of accidental poisoning in children.

I understand that the liklihood of SS being poisoned or dying because of his expired meds is slim. I just don't agree with it personally.

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*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Nymh's picture

I saw that the first night showing of Iron Man started at 6:55, so we already missed it. Seeing as SS's bedtime is 9:00 (even when he's NOT sick) I told BF, "Well I guess we're not watching Iron Man tonight..."

"Why?" he asked. I explained that the next show didn't start until 9:45, and would be over waaay past SS's bedtime. Well, apparently he's already spoken to BM about it and she says that it's OK to take SS to this movie and gave him permission to stay up late tonight.

WTF????

He hasn't been to school all week because he's "sick," you're taking him to the doctor on Monday, and somehow it's OK to take him to a movie tonight which won't be over until midnight?

Am I the only person who sees ANYTHING wrong with these things?!?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

bellacita's picture

aside from taking a "sick" out waaayyy past his bedtime, WHY did yr bf have to consult w bm as to whether or not it would be okay?? its his kid too and why does he need her permission?? just to make sure she couldnt use it against him later im hoping?

Nymh's picture

A while back, we signed a contract that there were gonna be some strict rules for SS because his behavior was getting out of hand. One of the rules was a bedtime of 9:00 PM. She always flips out and blows things way out of proportion if we do something against the rules without consulting her first. It's just easier to let her know ahead of time and avoids a lot of conflict and bullsh**.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Sasha's picture

If it were up to me I would have slapped that kid into bed the minute he walked into the house. After all if he is sick enough to miss school, he's also too sick to play video games, horse around, and stay up late to go out to a movie.

And I have to ask about the meds...are they OTC or prescription meds?

Nymh's picture

They're prescription meds.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Sasha's picture

Are they antibiotics or medications taken on an as-needed basis? Obviously she's not paying much attention to what she's giving him if she didn't even check to see that the meds were expired. Some people just have no brains. I mean really, would she give him milk that had expired in 2007? Things have expiration dates for a reason...medications included. She's just grandstanding...making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Dreamer's picture

When growing up if you were to sick to go to school then you were too sick to do anything else. We didn't watch TV or anything. We had to spend every moment in bed, but we could have a book to read.

After the first week the skids moved in. SD12 had called from the school EVERYDAY! saying she a "sick". I told her what would happen if she had to stay home and she's never called sick from school again.

Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns

ColorMeGone2's picture

But unfortunately, until dear old dad realizes that HE'S wrong, what can ya do?!

If you say something to him, he's going to look right past the fact that you are trying to offer helpful advice out of concern for the child and hear, instead, that you think he's a bad parent who was an idiot for reproducing with that woman in the first place. Sigh.

You know, Nymh, you've got the perfect built-in excuse to sit him down and discuss with him all your parenting concerns. You're pregnant... even though it'll be some time before you guys will be faced with any major joint parenting decisions for your own child, you can always tell him that you want to prepare NOW for how you will be parenting these two children together in your home. Maybe it will open the door to more positive interaction over how he handles these issues with his son.

Knowing a little bit of your history, I'm not too surprised that he's handling things this way. (Or, rather, NOT handling them this way.) BM has made it really hard for him in the past to get SS or enjoy any of that visitation time with him. You say that recently she's improved. BF probably doesn't want to rock the boat with her and risk going back into the previous nightmare she forced you to endure.

My own DH has felt a lot of helplessness when BM would keep my skids from him and when she finally would let up and let him see the skids, he didn't want to pick any fights with her for fear of losing them again. He was wedged between a rock and a hard place. Not a good place to be. I'd bet your DH is weighing the risk of confronting BM and pissing her off, and deciding that it's not worth her reverting back to her old, destructive behaviors.

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

Nymh's picture

I just wish I knew how to bring it up to BF without causing a fight. It's hard to approach him about things sometimes.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

evilsm's picture

That is the only advice I can give you. Sometimes when I need to talk to DH about something that I know would normally cause an argument I try to wait until he is more open to me. I totally understand how frustrated you feel about this, I have some similar issues with SD that DH blames on BM. May be true but if he contributes to or looks the other way around this problem then I hold him equally responsible. Good luck Nymh, let us know how your talk goes.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

Sita Tara's picture

When any of my kids are "too sick" to go to school, I make them go to their rooms without any electronic stimulation. They may read or sleep off the illness. Often once school lets out they think they can go outside and enjoy some fresh air/play time. I tell them no. Too sick for school means nothing fun whatsoever. Now if I can tell they are really ill, I do nurture them, and let them watch TV. This is for when they are crying wolf because they don't want to go to school. It's easy to tell.

And miraculously, they always get better in ONE day!

“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks