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Venting about ss17

Silently_stressing's picture


This ended up being wayyy longer than I expected. Sorry. 

Ss17 has really been getting to me lately. It may seem like small insignificant things but they just have all added up. He had to have surgery on his knee a few years ago and although the doctor said it would be stronger than it's even been, he's tweeked it twice since. Now, I'm sure he might have some discomfort, but he uses it as a crutch to not do anything. 

He'll be 18 next month. Too lazy to get his permit and the only reason he's even working is because we are friends with the GM at a restaurant. He always acted like he was trying to get a job but we know he never really did. So we have to drive him back and forth across town for his 3 hour shifts. He says he's saving for a car but he keeps telling us about all the stupid stuff he's buying. 

He used to talk about joining the Marines but now since he's knee is hurt again he wants to "take a year off after graduation and focus on physical fitness" Before he tries for military. I would honestly be shocked if he ever made it to the military. His knee was perfect all summer long that he could have been "focusing on physical fitness" Maybe if he had, it wouldn't have been so easy for him to twerk it again. But what does he do instead? Lay around playing video games for hours because thats what BM let's him do. She's always been good about buying them the electronic babysitters. 

They were doing senior portraits at school last month. I reminded him 3 times to get his done so he would be in the year book and he still missed it. Tried to say I didn't tell him til it was too late. Then I could tell he was mad when I said I wasnt paying $75 for a yearbook that his senior portraits wasn't gonna be in. He got the senior superlative of "most likely to win an argument" But I don't need a book to tell me he likes to argue. I already know that. I've lived it for 8 and a half years. And he never told me about ordering his cap and gown. I found out at the last minute by accident calling the school about something else and was able to get it in time. 

Him and his brother have a daily chore list after school during the week because they stay with us. It's not much. Take the trash out, empty the dishwasher, things of that nature. Nothing on it takes more than 5 or 10 minutes. But if we don't actually tell him to do it, it doesn't get done. Mind you, this is the same list that's been there for years. It hasn't changed. No surprises. Hubby and I schedules are staggered so there's only one day a week that we both work and they are home by themselves for 3 hours. That was yesterday this week. His mother didn't pick him up until 6 because of traffic and he still couldn't manage to do anything for those 3 hours he was here. Hubby works today and tomorrow and I don't wanna bring it up just yet because it never really goes that well. Who really wants to have that conversation after a 12 hour shift? And I won't see ss17 again until Sunday or Monday. I need to vent because I don't want it to be constantly on my mind for the next few days and ruin the weekend but I'm having a hard time letting it go. 

I just cannot stand his laziness and lack of ambition. He's not growing up at all. He makes jokes about living with us rent free for the next 5 or 6 years and I always tell him thats not going to happen. He thinks I'm joking but I'm not. He can go to his mother's if that's his plan. All she does is coddle him anyway.  He hurt his knee this last time back in October and she keeps coming up with excuses as to why she hasn't gotten him to a doctor yet. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm tired of only being relevant when they need to see a doctor, dentist, need a haircut, need school stuff done..  I've done all that since we've been together. I don't even know that they'd been to a dentist before we started dating. They certainly didn't have a regularly care doctor. 

They want for nothing. We provide everything. I don't think it's too much to expect 2 teenage boys to help out around the house when their dad and I are working 3-4 12 hour shifts a week, not including overtime. 


justmakingthebest's picture

Has he actually talked to a recruiter? Depending on the surgery he might not be eligible to join anyway. It would at least get any "false hope" out of his head. 

Other than that, all I can say is that I get it. Teenagers are the worst. They are lazy and slobs and smell ... lol 

Silently_stressing's picture

Hes been talking to recruiters for 4 years. In his rotc class. He's told me that if he's had 3 surgeries they won't let him join. But he's also told me that if he can completely heal and it won't be something that causes future problems then he can join. So I don't know which it is.