You're still young enough to have a child, if this is what you really and truly want. You need to do some soul searching and figure out if this is what you want. If you want a child, do not let the fact that you have stepkids be the reason that you don't. Your H has kids already, so for him its not an issue but it can be for you and I promise you will be bitter and resentful should you not do what you desire.

I'd have a conversation with him about it and depending on what he says you're going to have to make a decision on what to do. If he does, great and if he doesn't are you ok with living the rest of your life with no child of your own and placing your wants and needs aside for him?

Unfortunately this is one of the potential downsides of dating someone 15 years older than you are.  You are both in different stages of life.  He is looking forward to a young childfree stage where you and he would be able to travel and save for retirement.  He has raised two kids and could be looking at living "his best life" without child obligations starting in his early 50's.  

You, on the other hand, could have a child now in your early thirties and be at that childfree stage in YOUR early 50's... BUT your husband wouldn't be child free until he was in his 60's.  

So.. having a child for him now means putting of his plans for doing his own thing (and worry about health issues) for another 20 years give/take.

Skids don't replace bios for most people.  I personally never had a bio and have a very close relationship with my YSD.. but it is different than a bio relationship I'm sure.

I'm 31. My SSs are 17 and 13. I have been in their lives for 6+ years now. It has been in the last 2ish years that we have become financially secure. The only real differences in our stories is that my DH is a decade younger than yours, had a vasectomy, and I knew I wanted kids from the start.

For me, SKs aren't enough. DH and BM raise them differently than I would my own. DH is the NCP so he is a "part-time parent". I've never bonded with them like they were my own kids. I'd say we have more of an aunt-nephew relationship at best. We're family, but we definitely don't have a parent-child bond or relationship.

I can empathize greatly with what you are feeling. My XH told me he didn't want to have kids, which kicked off the end of that marriage (though plenty of other things should have done that). I struggled for a while debating whether I really wanted to be a mother or whether I could be childless. In the end, I wanted a family of my own making.

You're at a crossroads. If you want kids, you'll have to decide if that want trumps your want to stay with your DH if he is adamant about no more kids. You have a little time to make that decision; it's not something that had to be decided today. You can speak with a therapist who can help you through exercises to make this decision for yourself. You can research other options that may meet your needs, such as fostering or becoming a Big Sister. You can look into adopting an older child so that your DH gets his empty nest 8 years later than he hoped instead of 18 (that makes it sound like adoption is a transaction; I am only mentioning this route if your DH is okay with being a father to another child but worries about starting from scratch at his age).

If you think you might regret not having kids, then you owe it to yourself to really dive into this and figure out your true feelings. You're going to have to have some pretty tough conversations with your DH, too.

I don't envy the position you are in. Been there, done that, sorta still in it. I'm happy to chat with you if that would help, because it's very isolating to not know or have a clear direction.

Sounds like you've changed your mind and you DO want children, there is nothing wrong with that.  DH may not want more children at this point, so you will both need to decide which is more important to you - having/not having more children, or your relationship.

And don't let him try to convince you that you should be content just to have your rude and ill-behaved stepkids in your life and don't need bio kids.

I can certainly see this from both yours and your husband's sides. I had my kids in my early and mid 20's on purpose. I wanted to be in my early 40's when my kids were off to college and under 50 when they were done with it all. But I always knew that I wanted to be a mother. Stepkids are no consolation prize. 

I did want to share with you some thing though. My mother's best friend, my godmother, is childless except for her POS SS. Her husband has already had a vasectomy when they met. She had no plans to be a mother so it was a good fit. Until her early 30's. She spent about 4-5 years really regretting her choice to not have kids. Then she kind of settled back into the idea. She says no (she is in her early 60's) that those years weren't really her wanting a kid, she wasn't really willing to give up her lifestyle for a child, it was hormones and biological clocks screwing with her brain. I just wanted to throw that out there. 

I am not saying you should or shouldn't, just make sure that if you decide to have a child it isn't a primal thing, it is what you really want. 

Im 51. Ive no bios.

My experience with Munchkin SD13 REALLY makes me regret HIGHLY my not being able to bear chidren naturally.

Shes wonderful, kind, sweet, smart, mature. We love each others company. She sais I love you.

But after a week of "playing mom" to someone elses child, she will then scamper off to MOM. She will say I love you MOM. When it comes to education and medical I am the "step" aside, and have no say in anything important. I cannot restrict her screen time nor can I control what she eats (shes obese).

I pour out my nurturing and love on this child, and treat her like shes my kid, but at the end of the day she looks exactly like her mother, and has her habits, and likes/dislikes, her mannerisms. I have no "claim" to carrying her in my body, and giving birth. I have no stretch marks with her name on them. Ive only "been in her life".

I would have my own kid, if it was me.

I fully empathize with you.  I can not biologically have children but wanted to adopt.  DH initially was on board but there was never a "good time" with the issues with the skids and then it morphed into him not wanting to start over and questioning how it would impact my career and our relationship.  Bottom line is that he had changed his mind, although in hindsight I question how committed he actually was to the idea in the first place.  He had his children and it has been a mixed bag of how happy that choice has made his life.  He made a poor choice in BM and I don't think he fully grasps the difference the mother and her attitude toward what a man is "supposed to do" makes in a fatherhood experience.  To her his role was to pay for things and interact with them only as she deemed fit from the day they were born despite the fact that they were married until the kids were in high to middle school respectively.  Hardly a surprise that his relationship with them is wanting!  Needless to say, that is not my thinking and I wanted him to be fully involved.

I regret choosing not to become a mother by adoption.  Now it truly is too late.  That deep sadness is something I will take to my grave.  I have had a good life, I have made the deliberate decision to make an actual difference in the lives of others so that my life will have had meaning beyond my own existence, and I have no reason to think that I am anywhere near finished soon.  But when I do draw my last breath, I will be thinking of the children with my first husband I miscarried who I wanted with all my heart and that I never loved a living child who called me mother.

Not everyone wants to be a parent.  If you do not then you are in a good position to plan your life as you want it right now.  But please take the time to truly examine your heart.  I made a big mistake by not doing that when I had the chance.

Your ‘biological clock’ has kicked in, it’s not a crisis. You have time to weigh up your options. 

I am 35, been with my husband for 8 years now, married over 6 years. We went back and forth on wether to have kids or not for years then finally decided to start trying earlier this year because we finally had the space for a kid and clocks were ticking. Still no luck for us after 9 months, not sure it will happen. We had often talked about adopting some older children as that way we can miss out on the baby stage and have kids who are nearer to my sd11 age and let us not have to have another 18 years of children in the house. We will probably start looking into adoption next year. I am still not 100% sure if I want to raise someone elses kid again, but have heard that adoption feels different to step kids as the birth parents have no legal rights. 

It is tough to make these decisions when you are not driven by a huge maternal urge, but I am 100% sure that if sd did not exist we would have had kids by now (if nature allowed it). Children are a great contraceptive. But then my husband would not be the man that I fell in love with if he did not have the experience of being a father before I met him. Life turns out how it turns out and it is rarely how we would have predicted.