Apprehensive and curious
SD14 will be back in a couple days and am finding I have mixed feelings about her visit. This is pretty huge as I would normally be stressing out. With my new direction and attitude, I am curious how things will go next week. I'm also very apprehensive because it takes very little of her to really get me stressed so here's hoping I can keep it together. Even now I keep reaffirming to myself why I am disengaging and I become curious again.
Curious about not just my reaction but the reactions of my DH & SD. Will they only notice slight changes in the dynamic and carry on as usual? Or will there be backlash because their lives are changing for the worse?
Throughout all this self-enlightenment, I am thinking more about my happiness than of my DH and especially SD. Her happiness has become of little importance to me. After all, when has my happiness been important to her? My thoughts turn to all these shopping trips and concerts she wants for which my DH has told her "we'll see what we can do". We? Not we. You! BM receives child support, which I am all for, but then there is an expectation from my DH to give up what little money is left over after bills are paid to now pay for her every whim. I am not willing to give up what is deserved to me nor will I stand by while we go broke for her happiness.
Wow! Who is this strong, "don't mess with me" woman? I like her.