Just when I thought I had figured out all the possible reasons I hate BM, I discover a new one
As some of you know, we had SD's 15th birthday party this past Sunday. BM suggested to SD we have 15 of her friends over our house, (of course) for the party. We had to reign that back to 8 guests, as our house is not suitable for an indoor party of 15 rowdy teenagers, sorry BM.
Our custody dispute has been temporarily hung up due to the fact that custody was actually never legally determined for SD, and the court did not know how to file our petition for custody, whether as a modification, or whatever. So our hopes of having this also be a "welcome home SD" party fell by the wayside, and that issue is still pending.
Anyway, we threw a lovely party for SD, balloons, decorations, games, everything her favorite color, pizza, cupcakes, and a cake made by yours truly, frosted to match her purple bedroom, with strawberries carved like flowers decorating it. Yup, we went all out. SD and her friends had a great time, or put it this way, if they didn't they sure acted like they did. In the end though, they hardly ate any of the food!!! We have tons of chips, pizza and literally half a birthday cake left!
After the party ended and we cleaned up, it was time to bring SD back to BM's house. Ladies, I wanted her to have some of her balloons in her room for the next week, to remember the fun of her party. I so very much wanted to pack up some of the birthday cake, and other food, and send it home with SD. She only got one piece of her cake during the party, and by the time we see her again, I'll have thrown the rest away. If BM was a remotely decent human being, I would have been happy to send enough home for her whole family! But I can't. I won't. I will throw it in the damned garbage before I give her a thing. She has made our lives such hell, treated FH and SD so atrociously, I will never ever do anything for her, and will go as far as to say I won't even do something that indirectly benefits her, unless it is important to SD anyway.
It makes me so angry that I have this good, kind, caring and giving impulse, and because she's so awful, I have to squelch it. Some of you talk about the Stepmoms in your life, now married to your ex, and how good you get along with them. I don't understand why it can't be that way. I don't want to be her best friend or anything, but I would like to be able to extend a kindness, if for no other reason than SD. But I can't, and that gives me yet another reason not to like her.
SD's grandfather came over for her party, and reaffirmed that BM and her husband talk crap about not just FH but me too. They also said we "live in the ghetto" I guess the ghetto is on the campus of an ivy league school. Not that it's right, particularly in front of SD, but BM and FH have ancient history, and have had to deal with each other for the last 15 yrs, so I can, at least on some level, see expressing frustration with him. But me? I have met her all of 3x and been perfectly polite each time, and I've never done anything other than support and love her daughter, and she damned well knows it.
Ugh, carrying around this much anger and resentment towards someone isn't good, I need to work on letting this go....