A common issue posted here is the frustration SM's feel with the whole Disney Dad syndrome. Many SM's understandably resent it and have a difficult time understanding and coping with the hurt. Sometimes I think I have the unique perspective of having been brought up in an intact home until my teenage years, when my parents then divorced, and I understood what it was to be a child of divorce to some extent too. Later I married a man with two kids and understood the SM side. How intense this is with the Disney Dad who is also EOW, and since I've also experienced having his DD live with us full time for a period as well, I know how his behavior again changed based on that.

I can tell you the change in my parents, my father specifically, was immense. Prior to the divorce, my dad was happy and social. Not the most communicative with saying I love you or I'm proud of you to his children (we all knew he did and was) but very intelligent, bad-tempered with a wacky sense of humor. He could talk with anyone on just about any subject.

My mom had cheated on him for years and planned to leave him with her most recent boyfriend for some time. One day my dad came home from work and his wife and children were gone. My mom reasoned he should be grateful she left him pretty much everything in the house :? He was informed that is wife had left him, she was fighting for custody of us, and the divorce papesr were being drawn up

My dad fell into such a deep depression he had to be hospitalized. My first post-divorce visits with him were in the hospital were he was being treated. He eventually recovered and moved on with his life but from the very first visit with my father (he is now deceased) I saw a broken shell of the man he was. Someone who didn't often get mushy with his kids was now sobbing in front of me telling me how much he loved me, missed me, was so proud of me, how his children were everything to him.

My mom was the queen of PASing and made it so difficult for him to see us. She made us believe our dad was a loser (and a whole lot worse) and that if we wanted to see him well, we must have his genes. She did a great job of getting us to accept our sf, but not good when it came to allowing us time with our bio dad.

Our father would never give up, fought my mom on it and believe me every visit with him was this emotional love you so much, miss you so much, just want time with you. He would do just about anything to spend time with his kids. He never introduced us to any women in his life - I don't think he ever got over my mother but I think if he had of, she would have felt it was Disney Dad too

It is by no means right what our H's do. I'm married to one of them I know and resent it too

I've also experience both the EOW and fulltime care with H's DD's. Add to the guilt of how the divorce effects your children to the fact you don't see them every day yes many react by putting their spouses in the back ground on ignore all weekend, no matter how badly behaved their kids your H is not willing to spend his limited time with them disciplining them including and maybe especially when they are rude to SM. So for those of you whose H's have custody and you think the EOW SM's get off lucky....no, wouldn't want to deal with what you do 24/7 but most after every weekend of hurt don't easily recover and believe me dread the next one...my H was less a Disney Dad to his eldest daughter when she moved in full-time but still by no means easy

Anyway, just thought as both a SD and SM I could offer a little more perspective