Question: If you were 23 years old, in school for nursing with not kids of your own....
Forums:
Would you stay with a Disney dad with a 7 yr old daughter with a crazy ex-in law family and if the kid was very hard to handle?... eow... and dad is 'trying' whatever the hell that even means.
I hear everyone on here saying they love their husbands so much they try to deal as best they can...
I ask myself every single day.. Would he do this for me? And my answer remains unsure. Just needed some perspective.
I do love my husband and I
I do love my husband and I deal however he is only a form of a "Disney Dad" however he handles SS and SS truly isn't a bad kid a lot of his issues stem from simply wanting attention. However this does not mean that there isn't issues it just means I feel like I have a guy who really wants the best and mind you my husband was a stepdad before so I get a little more slack from him then more on the boards, he has a bit more understanding.
If I was in your shoes I probably would not stay. If you are unsure if he would "try" for you or his feelings among the extra drama towards you I would completely evaluate what you want. It sounds like you have a good head on you going to nursing school and even seeing a issue so why stay? Just take a long look at do you want to deal with this forever?
THIS!!! every situation is
THIS!!! every situation is different. Find out what you want, and if he is willing to work to give that to you within reason. Steplife sucks. it is hard. it is thankless. I always tell people you better be damn sure the other person is worth it and makes you feel how you deserve to feel, at all times.
Knowing what I know now,
Knowing what I know now, ABSOLUTELY NOT!
But I was young and naive once. I met a somewhat-Disney Dad when I was 19 and in college. He had a young son and a crazy ex wife. Silly me thought I could take on the world. Well, I've been with my DH for almost 20 years now. He got over his Disney Dad parenting and is a great father, to both SS and to our children too. But not without a TON of personal sacrifice and so much pain and heartache.
Re-read your original post.
Re-read your original post. You already know your answer.
It is obvious that you do not want this. When I married my DW I knew I wanted to spend my life with her and that I would accept the Skid (SS-21 who was then almost 2)as my own and battle the toxic SpermIdiot and SpermClan at her side and make a life together.
For me it was the best decision I have ever made. We have been married 19 years and love and enjoy each other more each year.
When we married all we had was my newly printed BS degree, two college student apartments full of college kid furniture, my 8yo 4x4 truck and stars in our eyes. Over the years together we have completed a dual major BS (hers) two MBAs (one each) and two professional certs (her a CPA, me a PMP) and raised the Skid to viable adulthood. He is in the USAF and working on his BSCS. As much fun as it has been it has also been hard. Taking on an instant family and the drama of the toxic blended family opposition is very difficult and not for everyone. In fact, I would not recommend it to anyone. However, I have no regrets.
The difficulties of a relationship with a person with children is difficult enough. So is nursing school and an early nursing career. I know, I put my XW through her BSRN program. We had no kids and our marriage did not survive nursing school, my studies and my job. I was your age when my XW and I married and we started our divorce when I was 26 and she was 23 only 3mos after she graduated from nursing school.
Study hard, enjoy your college experience and focus on your BSRN. There is plenty of time for you to find the right guy with far less baggage.
IMHO of course.
Holy Toledo woman run like
Holy Toledo woman run like hell. Find a professional guy (preferably a dermatologist who can keep regular hours) and have your own family. Don't take on a guy who is already demonstrating that he can't parent.
Thank you all so much for
Thank you all so much for replying!
you all so much knowledge and wisdom in this department thats for sure! haha.
I will figure out a way to make myself as happy as I can be. And if him and his kid get in the way, I will leave...
A lot to think about..
kind of feel better though with these new thoughts.
I'm 25 and in pharmacy school
I'm 25 and in pharmacy school so I understand where you're coming from. At one point I asked myself this same question in a similar situation. The difference between us is I felt horrible for thinking it for even a second and knew I wanted my now fiancé and his bs in life forever. I have been 100% confident in that decision since. It's still hard to deal with being a step parent. If you can't be 100% sure you want to be in that relationship I just don't see it lasting. If you have a lot of doubts it's probably not worth your time.
"Would he do this for me? And
"Would he do this for me? And my answer remains unsure." That is your answer right there. I have found myself compromising so many more things than DH ever had to compromise. You will find yourself resenting this man.