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Part 2 Step daughter 18 angry and gay!

sandqueen's picture

Well after SD said she wanted nothing to do with airing feelings and moving on I let her know how I felt. I let her know (respectfully- did not take it down to her level) that accusing me of abuse was a horrendous thing to do and what I said "if you dont like the rules you can get out" was horrendous as well. She then lit into me about how its all my fault all my daughters fault ect.

I started a somewhat relationship with her G/F as i realized to not accept the lover would alienate the SD. The lover two days ago sends me a FB message lamb basting me- just all over the place. Telling me I'm "lucky" to have a SD like i do how resilient she is and how cruel I am and that my daughter is the cause of so much and that SD would NEVER lie to her. (abuse etc.) I finally had had it I told g/f if she wanted police reports and crisis reports about all the negative things SD has said about g/f AND that the abuse allegation was INDEED false I could provide it all. I listed all the personal things about g/f that SD had told us every time they broke up 5x in 8 mo now. I told her she knew Jack sh*t about our family and that she was TOXIC. I gave g/f benefit of the doubt after she screamed at me and refused to leave my property at 10 at night and had to call 9-1-1.

Hubby says thats it im blocking them both. I said OMG your not going to say a WORD - your going to let them verbally assault me and play the nice guy? where's your FB message about how YOU messed up in their eyes. He NEVER sticks up for me unless I guilt him into it. Story of our 14 year relationship. I asked for a divorce. I cant handle it. He told me that he could not believe I'd be attacked out of the blue and wanted to see my phone to see the messages - I am guessing to see if I attacked them first ( I did not) The other thing is DH admitted he did not believe that I did not hit SD that night ( I've never hit her before so why would I now and the police would be calling to say your wife has been removed from the house- in my state is a VERY serious crime) So he reads the messages and says he's still dumbfounded, cant understand it. I told him- YOU CANT UNDERSTAND IT?????? REALLY????? This is the SECOND time in 4 months they've done this and you NEVER said a WORD to your daughter about what she did that night. He admits it. STORY OF MY LIFE.

I guess I'd rather be alone than miserable with someone who cant BELIEVE his daughter could behave in such a manor. :jawdrop: Yet the man admits that if i did not prod him he'd never have accepted her sexuality, he'd never have kept his mouth shut about her life once she moved out, he's never have given g/f a second chance. He admits that I've helped him understand all of that.......................

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

I don't understand why you are communicating with SD's GF. GF will believe all the lies. why do you care what loser Gf thinks about you? Time to disengage and block them on FB. Dh like mine and many others are in denial about their Dd's. this likely will not change. if you can't disengage and let it go it may be time to leave. I am working on my own letting it go, I don't give a rat's ass what SD thinks of me, and it IS hard. Takes a long time to heal and recover from emotional abuse. Good luck.