Bedtime should be consistant. Rules regarding dinnertime (at table together, have to try new things, etc). Cleaning up behind his/herself. Things that will cause a time out. Respect for your personal stuff.
These are some of the things that my boyfriend and I decided on BEFORE I agreed to move in with him. He has J every other weekend, but we still needs rules to keep us all sane.
Thanks for the input. Right now SD really doesn't have any rules. DH and BM have joint custody, so SD will be with us every other week for the full week (half the time). When she is at BMs (who lives with her mother), she has no rules either. So it's going to be really tough. But I feel like if I don't set something up in the beginning, it will just end badly. I can't deal with kids running wild, not in my home anyway.
If neither of the parents have made setting rules a priority, I think you're just setting yourself up to suffer by making rules. Personally, I'd hold off on moving while you disagree with the way that she is being brought up. If you do move in, I'd suggest you keep a safe distance from the situation. Sounds like you'd be the rule enforcer for their child. Is that okay with you?
I maintain a home separate from my SO because I don't want to disrupt (probably not the best word choice, but...) the setup they already have. Plus, I love my own space.
I agree with the PP's. Don't move in with him. Take the time necessary to make sure this situation is one that you'll be able to handle. Watch and observe. Be honest with him about what you're seeing.
IM IN THE SAME BOAT! But we have moved in and SD4 dont like the rules I have made... Im having issues with SO backin me and its just tough all the way around!
Bedtime should be consistant.
Bedtime should be consistant. Rules regarding dinnertime (at table together, have to try new things, etc). Cleaning up behind his/herself. Things that will cause a time out. Respect for your personal stuff.
These are some of the things that my boyfriend and I decided on BEFORE I agreed to move in with him. He has J every other weekend, but we still needs rules to keep us all sane.
What are the house rules (at
What are the house rules (at BD's) now before you live together? How much time will the child spend in your husband's care?
Thanks for the input. Right
Thanks for the input. Right now SD really doesn't have any rules. DH and BM have joint custody, so SD will be with us every other week for the full week (half the time). When she is at BMs (who lives with her mother), she has no rules either. So it's going to be really tough. But I feel like if I don't set something up in the beginning, it will just end badly. I can't deal with kids running wild, not in my home anyway.
If neither of the parents
If neither of the parents have made setting rules a priority, I think you're just setting yourself up to suffer by making rules. Personally, I'd hold off on moving while you disagree with the way that she is being brought up. If you do move in, I'd suggest you keep a safe distance from the situation. Sounds like you'd be the rule enforcer for their child. Is that okay with you?
I maintain a home separate from my SO because I don't want to disrupt (probably not the best word choice, but...) the setup they already have. Plus, I love my own space.
I agree with the PP's. Don't
I agree with the PP's. Don't move in with him. Take the time necessary to make sure this situation is one that you'll be able to handle. Watch and observe. Be honest with him about what you're seeing.
JMHO.
IM IN THE SAME BOAT! But we
IM IN THE SAME BOAT! But we have moved in and SD4 dont like the rules I have made... Im having issues with SO backin me and its just tough all the way around!