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Who's BM is this???

ETexasMom's picture

So my 20 year old has a new girlfriend. She has a 4 month old baby. She started working same place as him Oct 12 so her a little over a month and they have been dating less then two weeks. I say "dating" loosely. She broke up with previous boyfriend Oct 24 and started dating my son on November 10th. She immediately tried to move him in even though he had just rented an apartment with his twin sister. She is freaks out when he wants to go home to his own apartment. Already is trying to get his twin (who has cerebral palsy and can't walk very good) to babysit and referring to him as her husband. She appears to like him but seems like one of those girls who starts planning a wedding the second she's in a relationship.

Flash to this week (10 days into their relationship) and my son is in a wreck. He had her baby in the car because she of course had him babysitting. He had gotten up at 6am worked all day then drove to her house picked her up and dropped her off at work and was babysitting for her. Since she can't be 5 minutes without a man she had him drag the baby out 8pm so he could come visit her during her 30 minute lunch. Him and the baby spent more time in the truck then with her! Anyway on his way back to her apartment he got into a wreck. Baby is fine she was in her car seat and kept her safe. However my son got an airbag to the face. He had a broken nose, lacerations, swollen eye and all the fun stuff you get from an airbag. I got to the accident scene and my poor son started crying and he never cries. We couldn't get ahold of his girlfriend and since they are a new relationship he had no numbers for her family. Finally my aunt who is a manager at the work went and picked her up and brought her to the er. My aunt said in the car she wasn't asking if my son was ok but if he had insurance.

At the Er she was really pissing me off! Baby checked out again no injuries and released. My son is taken back for a CT scan and during this time handed me all of his stuff. I called his father and twin update them and during this time the girlfriend starts freaking out because some of my son's friend's from high school commented on his twins status that they hope he is ok and for him to call them. Then of course a few start texting or commenting on his Facebook page. Girlfriend freaks out because apparently he's not allowed to talk to girls even if has never dated them and known them since kindergarten. She starts searching for his phone saying she was going to block them. I was pissed! I looked at her and said "why the h$ll would you block a friend of 12 years that he never dated". She didn't say anything but was frantically searching for his phone. I refused to give it to her. I kept it in my pocket till we left. She then moves on to obsessively talking about insurance, rental cars, and settlements. I tell her numerous times that he rear ended someone and currently at fault and only has liability so he's not getting money or a rental car. She keeps saying they didn't have lights on so he can sue and they have to give him a rental car and wants to argue with me about his insurance coverage. Keep in mind he's still in CT!!!

They had nothing for the baby there since everything was in the car and smokey my son didn't even bother to grab it because you can't give a baby a bottle or pacifier from a smokey crashed car! First she mad at that then she decides since the car seat was in a wreck the hospital was supposed to give her a new one. Then she gets pissy with nurse because they said they didn't have any pacifiers. Baby is spitting up everywhere has no blanket or change of clothes. This is all going on while doctors and nurse are trying to treat my son. Finally the girls mother gets there and then she refuses to leave. She wants her mother to drive 30 minutes to her apartment pick up stuff for the baby and bring it back to her. Baby is still screaming head off. I think her mother could tell I was getting pissed. But she refused to leave. I finally told her "your baby is exhausted and needs her bed. You leave and take care of your baby and I'll take care of mine". I finally had to swear he would go back to her house and she starts looking for his phone again. I refuse to give it to her and said he needed it call his dad. Finally she leaves. He gets released about an hour later we started gathering his stuff up and can't find his wallet he calls her and sure enough she took it. Great now we can't get his prescriptions filled because she took his wallet. I against my better judgment dropped him off at her apartment (government ones so of course she shouldn't have a man there) and told him I would get him in the morning.

Flash to next morning I refuse to let her and the baby go with us. No way a 4 month old needs to be in a cold wrecking yard. She calls the whole time. I take him back to my house to call insurance his sergeant (he's army reserves) and work on all the fun stuff after a wreck. She's freaking out still talking about rental cars and insurance money. Finally I tell son I can drive him back and forth to work if he's at my house I'm not driving 30 minutes opposite way for him to stay at her apartment. Son is hurting pretty bad and very tired so he decides to stay at my house last night. She freaks out!!! Starts telling him she can't be alone. He told her his phone was dying so he'd call her later. She freaks out starts calling my phone and I ignore. Later that day she starts harassing him to come to her work during her lunch so they can discuss his truck saying if he doesn't have a car by Monday they are screwed. At this point I get mad! I finally texted her and said "You need to calm down! He is in pain and exhausted he's not going anywhere. His father and I have already handled his car issue and she needed to worry about herself" She then texted my son and told him I made her cry and that all she was trying to do was provide for her baby. And she is now having major anxiety and throwing up. I told my son it was not his job to help her provide for her baby. That baby has a father and a mother and he's only known her for two weeks!!! I asked him how she was getting to work and who babysitter before she met him. He didn't know and I think the way she was acting was starting to exhaust him. She then started saying she had talked to an "agent" and that his insurance company was wrong the other people were at fault and should pay him. OMG! The wreck happened the nigh before they don't even have a police report yet!!!

So who's BM is this???? Can you imagine being this girls' baby's SM!!!! She's wearing me out! Please pray my son comes to his senses or she gets tired of him now that he can't drive her around or be a free babysitter. Plus what kind of mother leaves her 4 month old daughter with a man she's just met or with a girl she's just met who is physically disabled and can not walk and carry a baby without risk of falling!!!!

Comments

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

:jawdrop: :jawdrop:

Moocher with a baby in tow. OMG this story is unreal. Why on earth any one would date this desperate pathetic woman is beyond me. Makes me think of that saying about sucking chrome off a bumper because nothing else makes sense.

Main point: I am sorry your son went through this. I hope he makes a full recovery from his accident. He is way too young to be dealing with this crazy that comes from this needy woman-child and her baby. I hope he sees the car wreck as a warning: life with this psycho will be like this: a slow motion car wreck.

Just wow. That is all.

ETexasMom's picture

He has very little experience with girls. He never really dated in high school. I honestly wondered if he was gay and too scared to say anything. Out of high school he went right to boot camp and training for the reserves. He had one girlfriend since then but it was long distance one. I honestly think she might be the first girl he has slept with.

advice.only2's picture

Warning Warning Warning, you have a stage 5 clinger!!! Better pray he's been using protection because the last thing he needs is for this chick to be his baby mama!

ETexasMom's picture

I told him that first time I met her! He said she's on the birth control patch (????). I told him didn't matter she could easily forget to change it out. She claims that she doesn't get pregnant easily and had 4 miscarriages before her baby. I asked him the hell gets pregnant that many times at 19!!!!

advice.only2's picture

I'm sorry 4 MISCARRIAGES all before the baby!!!! Your boy better run, she is a serial BM in the making!

BethAnne's picture

You can tell she is only 4(+9) months into this crazy BM stuff. She hasn’t learned to keep the crazy part under wraps for a short while as she establishes the relationship.

What a mess. I am glad your son was not more seriously hurt and that the baby was ok. I am sure your son will realize there are much better options out there soon.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Lmao. Could not agree more with this spot on assessment!

She is "unpractised" in keeping the crazy under control in the honeymoon phase. Give her some time. Some stupid man is going to fall into this trap. It is only a matter of time and learning.

ETexasMom's picture

She is also underestimating a momma bear and a female twin! Him and his twin are close and she won't stand for it long either.

DPW's picture

Yowsers!

Are you planning on telling your son exactly what you think of her, in hopes that he could see the truth? I'd be tempted.

ETexasMom's picture

Oh I did! And told him this morning he should go unblock any friend he still wanted to talk to while he had his phone. He said "I already did". LOL I think he is tired of her already.

My Dh already gave him step-fatherly advice. In terms I would not use!!!! He flat out said "No #@$$* is worth that much crazy. Every woman has the exact same one." :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: I didn't know rather to get on to hubby for being crude or kiss him for the manly advice. LOL

Acratopotes's picture

Oh this is Aniki's SD....

Please talk to your son....he should end this immediately and find a nice girl with no children. Ask him if this is how he wants to live for the rest of his life, with this woman her demanding him to do things and taking care of her baby while she has a blast, make it clear to him she's only with him for the money and he should really think hard and carefully about this situation.... she will get pregnant again to catch him..

ETexasMom's picture

Yep she saw him with a full time job, in the Army Reserves, and works as a home health aide for his sister and she saw dollar signs. I honestly think the next move was to move into his and his sister's apartment. Thankfully my daughter has said "no if and or buts she will not move in with us". My daughter (his twin) is a full time student about to start grad school along with working and physical therapy for his disability. She does not want a baby in the apartment.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Not MY SD! SD is 21 has no children (yet!).

However, this sounds like BioHo back in the day. :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

ETexasMom, your son needs to run like he!! and block that crazy bee!!

Acratopotes's picture

she could've had a baby and not telling you Wink she could've stolen a baby lol.....

but she reminded me so much of your SD, meet a guy and within a blink of an eye she's planing to get married/move in... dictate his life...

hereiam's picture

She sounds like a nutcase, just looking for someone to take care of her and her baby. Even without a baby, I bet she is a clingy, possessive, co-dependent.

Your son needs to extricate himself from this "relationship" yesterday.

I hope your son will be okay.

ETexasMom's picture

Oh and forgot to add the first time she met me she informed me he wouldn't be coming for Thanksgiving because he was going to her family's house. I looked at her and flat out said "you're going to your family's house. He's coming here." She tried to tell me her grandparents were coming from out of town. My response "That's nice. He'll be here." LOL This was a week into their relationship!

Annoyed2626's picture

She sounds like quite a mess. The fact that she's mentioning she's on birth control is alarming. I hope your son is not falling for that! Being attached to this girl for the rest of his life sounds unbearable.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Holy Sweet Baby Jesus, Batman! I can't even begin to unravel all of that. Pray that your son does NOT give her Baby #2.

Disneyfan's picture

Oh man Texas, I could not make it through all of the crazy. I hope that new car smell wears of of the butter real soon. That way he will have a chance to move on and meet a normal woman.

I think everyone on ST should chip in and send your son a super, jumbo pack pack of condom for Christmas. LOL The last thing he needs to do is knock up that fruit loop.

Valkyrie's picture

It won't last.
You sound like a wonderful Mom with her son's best interests at heart so kudos to you. Respect to your son for dating someone with a child, he sounds like a mature and caring young man. One bit of caution, birth control, birth control, birth control and not controlled by her - otherwise you will be stuck with the drama for life. Other than that, trust the way you raised your son, he will see through her and run screaming in a matter of time. In fact, I would suggest starting a betting pool on how long it lasts - -you could clean up Smile

robin333's picture

Surely she will drain him with her neediness quickly so he can move on.

She sounds wacko. I don’t give a poo that’s she’s on birth control, keep advising on wrapping it up.

DaniellaR's picture

Yep, skids are here because DH is an idiot that fell for the BC and condom allergy lie. OP, the whackadoodle's next step is to trap your son with a baby. BC patch? LOLOLOLOLOL! You can see the excuses coming...

BethAnne's picture

My sd was conceived in the first 2 weeks of the relationship with my husband. BM was ‘on birth control’ (she’d had the shot apparently). My husband’s family suspected the baby wasn’t his until she was born and was the spitting image of him at that age. I hope this doesn’t happen to your son. This lady sounds 100x worse than my sd’s mother.

strugglingSM's picture

She is engaging in what is sometimes referred to as "fast forwarding" a relationship. She is moving beyond the initial stages of getting to know one another too quickly, either to hide the fact that she really fears intimacy or try to hide her flaws from your son. Either way, it's a red flag and an unhealthy relationship pattern. He's young and the relationship is new, so he should just walk away...rather, run away. Maybe look for a new job, too, so he doesn't have to work with her anymore.

Maxwell09's picture

Uhm I see all the suggestions that he needs to wrap it, but she seems crazy enough to poke holes if you get my drift. Or purposely get pregnant at any signs of him leaving her. He needs to cut her off cold turkey and hit the hills. No job is worth that crazy. My God, can you imagine dealing with that as your ex-daughter-in-law during Christmas. Talk about nauseating.

oneoffour's picture

Can he take a few weeks off work and head out of town to 'visit and recover' with someone in the wilds of "2 states over"? Even for 10 days? She will find someone else to hook onto or move on. I feel for that poor child (the baby not the mother!). The poor wee mite hasn't a hope in hell.