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My 2017 SKID Resolutions

TwoOfUs's picture

Sorry to double-dip on the blogs. I saw a post earlier about New Year's Resolutions but can't find it anymore.

In addition to the normal get in shape, read more, get better sleep resolutions, I have two skid-specific resolutions this year.

1.) I will no longer pay for anything for the skids or subsidize my DH doing extra for them. I.E. I pay most of the household bills right now, while DH squirrels his money away and does extra things for the incredibly spoiled skids from time-to-time. Not excessively, but enough to make me see red. DH and I have a January / beginning of the year money meeting scheduled for Monday, and I plan to tell him. You put your contribution in the household account by the 5th of each month, or I'm fully separating finances and moving out. I will no longer work my tail off so skids can have everything they want.

2.) I will no longer be home during the "long week" skid visits. Three times a year, we get skids for a week plus both weekends on either side...so 10-11 days. At the tail end of one of those visits right now (skids leave Monday morning...have been here since Christmas Day). The problem with these weeks is that the skids are typically on break, and I am not...or not as much as they are. Maybe a day or two but not a full 10 days. I have realized that this creates an utterly miserable situation for me where I don't really get my vacation days...and get behind on work because it's hard for me to focus with skids lounging around doing nothing and playing the TV really loud (and, yes, I have asked for the TV to stop, but it doesn't bother DH so it never sticks). Instead, in 2017, I plan to get a Priceline Express deal at a nearby hotel with strong WiFi and enjoy some alone time. I can do the EOWE thing...but the long weeks are killing me.

Plan to tell DH about both resolutions at our Monday meeting. Wish me luck.

So what about ya'll? Any skid-specific resolutions this year?

Comments

hereiam's picture

Any skid-specific resolutions this year?

No need. My SD is 25 and we only see her at gift giving time, which is a one way street, of course. And this year, no gifts were bought so...

TwoOfUs's picture

LUCKY.

TwoOfUs's picture

Yep. That's exactly what I'm picturing. Me exercising, eating well, and getting work done. At least for half of the long weeks. Maybe I can offer to do half away half at home as a compromise.

Can he really get half of my retirement? Even though he hasn't worked for over a year, and I've been funding all the household bills, and I'm the only one who has contributed to it out of my own personal, not joint, acccount (post-tax money...IRA...as I'm a freelance/contract worker)? Grrrr. He actually doesn't know about my retirement account, and he's not the beneficiary on it should I pass away unexpectedly. My mom and my little sister are. His parents are filthy rich and I assume he never saves anything because he figures that's his retirement. I don't want to rely on that, though, so I do save. Seems incredibly unfair that he could be entitled to half after all of this. However, I don't plan to divorce him, so I guess it's neither here nor there. I may decide to leave and live separately, but I won't divorce Smile

TwoOfUs's picture

Well, damn.

However, his parents have given both of us money while married (not enough to make up for all of the $$$ I've put into supporting him and his kids...but it's still nice) and they let us buy a home they owned in our city for a really good deal...about 1/4 less than market value at the time, and now it's appreciated. So it hasn't all been negative for me, financially.

Cover1W's picture

I'm planning on meeting my best friend sometime this spring/early summer for a weekend getaway at some really cheap place to visit; we'll be watching for deals. Without DH or SDs.

DH and I plan on doing two local trips this summer without SDs.
One to a place he's never been to but I know he'll love.

We are not going to visit my family this year (we need to pay off debt, the airfare is too much). Usually we do this with SDs.
Instead we'll do one local-ish trip with SDsfor a maximum of 3 nights at a fun place.
That's it.

2badsosad's picture

Twoofus, I am jealous you have them so little. We have my step daughter WOWO.

My resolution is to try and fully disengage. She is very rude and has a lot of issues. I am hoping DH will get her in therapy to get the help she needs.

TwoOfUs's picture

It feels like it's all the freaking time. I counted up the official days and it's 1/3 of the year...122 days. That's a lot to have someone else's kid in your home.

But yeah...glad it's not WOWO...though they live close and all skids are driving now, so they drop by a lot and they ask us for stuff ALL THE TIME.

2badsosad's picture

I long for the day we don't have to drive her back and forth. I know for a fact she won't be dropping by since she favors her Mother's house. 122 days is a lot. I am not discounting your time. Anytime we have to deal with nonsense is one day too many if you ask me.