Evil Stepmom at your service.
Why can't they leave the stuff that isn't their alone? My kids have been raised in an environment where if its not yours you don't play with it. His kids have not been raised with the same rule or respect but by god if someone touches there stuff call the national guard!!! I am not by ANY means rich. I cant afford to replace everything that gets wrecked. I was raised that you take care of the things you have so that when you need it you have it. My middle SS10 was in tears this evening because I walk up to him, removed an item from his hand that is mine while telling him the item was not his and he did not have permission to play with it or use it (as it is I have already had to replace this item because SS6 broke the first one.
- flintstonegarden's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
"if its not yours you don't
"if its not yours you don't play with it" - I work on the principle sharing is caring. All things in my home are treated with respect and may be used by all. TV's, DVD players, Xbox (if earnt), Apple TV, DVD's, externals, computers. We have shared toys in a play room. IF it's in your bedroom however it's a yours item and you decide when it gets shared.
My lounge everyone needs to respect. Children and adults. The only one who may not touch remotes is the baby. Logically so. My lounge has some extra rules. Like don't leave something that can harm baby lying around. Toys may not be left in this room. So kind of a formal lounge versus a family lounge set up.
This applies to all children coming in and out my home. None of the kids have to share their toys in their bedrooms. I'd like them to, but I won't make them. Same as I don't have to share what's in my room. It's house rules essentially.
I don't think the mine attitude teaches children to share. So OP be sure what it is you're putting a limitation on, make a house rules list with your H and then be very sure you intend to follow it through with every one in your house. Steps, bio's and adults.
Have you tried using gobbed
Have you tried using gobbed on remotes? Or how about biscuit remotes with gob? Or how about remotes where ALL the buttons were forced in at once by teeth? I am just fine with being unfair on this one little thing in my lounge
No to quote MIL "PPP is not
No to quote MIL "PPP is not the same as COD. Mon was never married to the man she made her with."
And so BabyD is on the same path. She may never have problems as we are not married and I don't plan on marrying in light of my super blogs.
ktq you are quite right. Baby D should have chores. All of Chucky's chores is quite right.
When my diamonds are being
When my diamonds are being taken out of my jewelry boxes and played with then there is definitely a mine issue that needs to be addressed. When his tools go missing and are found scatter across the yard there is definitely a mine issue the needs to be addressed (the kids have their own tools). I'm not talking common room shift like tv remotes I'm talk expensive items that came not be easily replaces. A 6yr old has to reason to be playing with my sewing machine or surger (cost me $300 to get them fixed), I was lucky to find my engagement ring from my ex husband (to go to my oldest son when he decides to get married) in the grass in the back yard. So if you want to preach about teaching the kids sharing and that the mine attitude doesn't teach that please know we are not talking use of the TV remote and everyday common shit like this. We all have items that are dear and precious to us that everyone should respect the paws off rule for. The rules are set, they all know the rules, they refuse to respect the rules pertaining to personal bedrooms etc.
We had a problem with sticky
We had a problem with sticky fingers and the SS's thinking if something was in the house they had full access to it. SS17 and SS13 were the worst. They both stole items from BS and took them to BM's house. They both got caught too. SS8 has tried to do it (at the direction of the OSS's but he tends to tell on himself and the OSS when he does it. DH saw nothing wrong with this at first. He felt it was all ok because they were brothers!! I pointed out it was NOT ok as they do not treat BS like a brother and its not like BS can go into BM's house and take their shit. DH finally saw my point. But I did have to explain to BS that if he leaves something out in the house laying around, it becomes fair game for someone else to touch it. Put your things in your room and that is the "off limits" area. It got to the point I was locking BS's room when he was gone and the SS"s were here. I have caught them trying to sneak in his room and couldn't because it was locked. I have a area of the house that NO ONE is allowed in except DH. ALl the kids know this and don't ever break that rule.
Yes!!! My skids would/will
Yes!!!
My skids would/will touch anything. It can be the most interesting or the most mundane. Found the youngest going through paperwork for an association for which I was an officer. Why? "I don't know." Even DH has no compunction about taking/using anything around, not putting it back, and letting it end up wherever.
His excuse is that he has several siblings and no one had much of their own stuff. I was raise with one sibling and lots of cousins and we didn't touch stuff. If you were allowed, you took care of it better than your own stuff.
DH also claims I'm sentimental about things and that makes me sensitive. I responded that I am sentimental about some things now because I have taken good care of them, had them a long time, and used them over lots of different situations. Hell, my pillow is over 40 years old.
I was raised that you keep you hands off unless given permission so I just don't get the free-for-all attitude AND I find it offensive when someone doesn't ask.
I think that is where some of
I think that is where some of our issues come into play. My BS is basically an only child. He has and older sister who lived with us but the age difference made it so they never played with each others things. The OSS has his own room but from what I hear, his things are supposed to be off limits but aren't. The YSS's go in his room and use his things. They have no boundaries, unless it is BS touching their things. I can't count how many items of clothing my BS has been accused of taking. BS doesn't do his own laundry so if some shorts accidentally end up in his room,,,its me that put them there. It got to the point I started putting BS's initials in his clothes so there was no more issues. MSS takes all his clothes home so there have been several instances that MSS has in fact taken BS's clothes and we have never seen them again.
For a while we had to search MSS and YSS before they left for their BM's. If MSS has a bag with him, we have to go through it to make sure he doesn't take things from here. And of course...Nothing ever gets done about the stealing. DH claims he talks to them but I have never heard it.
Even DH has gotten into the "borrowing" of items from BS. He wants to wear his shoes or hats but doens't always ask. I finally put a stop to that as well. Yes BS has a lot of clothes and a ton of shoes,,,he buys them himself. So DH needs to stay away from them unless he asks. BS would never tell him no, its just the point of being respectful and asking.
All I can say is I am totally exhausted from the constant referee'ing that I have to do. I just keep hoping and praying it gets better when the OSS and BS are out and away at college so there will only be 1/2 the kids left to deal with. By that time, I figure SS13 will be PAS's out and we will only be left with one. Sounds harsh and I love BS with all my heart and he is a great kid, but Im exhausted from it all.
That is one of our problems.
That is one of our problems. ExH knows exactly what is his and returns things he doesn't recognize so BS would never be able to get away with stealing. But BM is a super shopper/borderline hoarder and believes anything the skids say so they can easily take things to her house and they are never seen again.