You are here

Another wonderful family dinner

Ninji's picture

Yesterday was FIL's birthday. SO and I took FIL and MIL (SO's SM) out to dinner.

Every time I see MIL she does nothing but talk about BM and seems to need to tell me "8 is enough" ALL the time. (Her bio daughter has 4 kids, SO has 2 and BM has 2 from another relationship) Is she trying to tell me not to have children with SO? I don't know.

Anyway, before we left for dinner, SO said he would try to steer any conversation MIL brings up about BM to a different conversation. Ha yeah right

The waitress hadn't even brought our drinks and FIL asked how Skids are doing. Pretty normal. SO and MIL go on a rant about how horrible BM is. Right before our food arrives FIL finally says, Well she's been like this for many years now. All you can really do is what you have been doing. Be the best dad you can, be there for the kids. This won't last forever. (SO's mom was crappy too. FIL has some experience at this)

SO is so caught up in talking about BM he barely eats any of his food. This BM talk goes on until right before we leave and the discussion turns to BM's older daughter (SO's EXSD) who now lives with SO's parents.

I barely spoke the entire dinner. When we get in the car, SO says he is sorry the conversation was so much about BM.

This entire situation pissed me off for obvious reasons. I have told SO time and again that he can do what's he wants but actions have consequences. I will never go to dinner with SO and MIL again. This isn't an isolated occurrence. Good lord, it's been 5 years. The in-laws know!

I feel like his mind is filled with BM as soon as he gets around MIL. (Maybe always?) I can guarantee BM has never gone to dinner and let the entire conversation center around SO. Are we going to be in our 60's out to dinner with SS and SD and the entire conversation is going to be about BM and what a crappy mom she was?


ctnmom's picture

I would've walked out to preserve my self respect. Sounds like they are all obsessed with BM, including your boyfriend. Weird. I wouldn't subject myself to that- next time excuse yourself and take a cab/bus home. Also remember: the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

Ninji's picture

LOL, I have turned the conversation into talking about SO's bio mom. MIL loves that. She's a SM and put up with all the crap we on the site do. Also, SO's bio mom has been living off other people couch's for years and doesn't have a pot to piss in. She loves that she came out the "winner". Kids call her grandma and have only met SO's bio mom once. (Can't say that I blame her for gloating a little) I think she AND SO are addicted to drama.

Tuff Noogies's picture

"AAAND in other news, did you know that nine cups is NOT equivalent to 4.5 quarts?"

i would have to study up on stupid trivia and just blurt it out every time one of them mentioned bm.

either that, or give dh a swift kick in the shins each and every single time.

mommy0104's picture

Luckily, over the last few years my in-laws have stopped with all the BM talk. However, I do remember when I first became pregnant with my youngest son (about 2 years after DH and I started dating) and he told his mother..her response was "shit happens". DH shrugged it off as a joke..I was livid..but I got over it and now things are decent. Now if any of my in-laws bring up BM while DH is around he tells them to zip it. He says he divorced her for a reason and if he wanted to hear/talk about her all the time, he'd have stayed married to her.

Ninji's picture

She must have said "8 is enough" to me on Christmas at least 10 times. When SO and I got home we laughed. I have no intention of having a child. The two SO has are enough and we talk all the time about our plans when we are "free" to do what we want. I kinda feel like she is trying to rub BM's other two kids in my face. Other than that, I really don't get why she keeps saying that to me.