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BM threatening court again.

Ninji's picture

BM threatening court again.

Honestly, I could write 5 different blogs just on the crap we have went through the last seven days alone in stephell but I won't bore everyone with all the crappiness. Instead, here is the latest installment of "I'm taking you to court".

SS12 lives with us full time and SD14 lives with BM full time.

DH and I got SS a flip phone for Christmas because he has to be home alone for about 20 minutes in the morning and 1/2 a hour after school. We wanted him to be able to contact us or 911 in an emergency. We decided against a smart phone because his behavior is really bad (cops have been called by the school and we had DCF at our home because he is out of control). We told him that he could have a smart phone next Christmas if he starts behaving and takes care of the flip phone.

He has yet to call or text BM. BM texted him "Happy Birthday" on his birthday but that has been it.

So last Monday, DCF was at BM's house, the school and our house. Apparently, BM told the DCF lady that DH was the best father in the world and she would never have let her son live with him if she wasn't the best. Blah Blah Blah DH is soooo awesome. DH thinks BM has magically turned over a new leaf because she got married (again) the week prior. I said she just doesn't want any possibility of having to take SS back full time because he is so hard to deal with.

On Tuesday, BM tells DH that she bought SS a smart phone. THE DAY AFTER A VISIST FROM DCF. DH tells her that he cannot have it in our home because of his behavior. She ignores.

SD comes to our house on Friday for visitation and brings the phone for SS. We take the phone and DH again tells BM that SS can't have it. (the phone was given back to SD on Sunday to give to BM)

So, now she is threatening to take him to court because he isn't allowing her access to SS. Which is funny because she rarely takes her visitation time and when she does it is usually only for one day instead of the entire weekend.

WHY does it always have to be a fight with her. WHY would she think it's a good idea to get him a smart phone. He is the last kid in the world that needs access to the internet 24hrs a day and besides that, are we supposed to toss the phone we JUST BOUGHT in the trash?

I hate her... every.single.week it's something.


ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Easiest solution. The fact she texted SS shows she knows about the cell phone. Save those screenshots if she tries and a judge will laugh at her. Also if you have in writing the fact SS isn’t allowed to have a smart phone that you’ve sent to he, save that too.

I’m sorry Ninji, she sounds insane.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Remember, BMs can threaten anything they like. That doesn't mean they have a leg to stand on in court. No reason to actively worry about it. Just document when she threatens and keep it in your "just in case" file. Unless a judge tells you to deviate from what you're currently doing (and I can't imagine they will), keep the status quo and ignore.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

On top of this you could actually get a judge who gets onto her for not only refusing to co-parent but actively working against DH.

I'd let her know that if she keeps sending the phone then you'll have no choice but to send the boy back to her. If she's so worried about parenting while he's in dad's house then she can just as well do it in hers.

Iamwoman's picture

Ugh - the ex drama truly sucks.

Custody orders sometimes feel like the courts are saying, "Congratulations! This person who you thought you left so you could have a better life, is now legally allowed to harass and annoy you day in and day out for the next 18+ years!"

If it makes you feel better, just know that she can threaten all she wants. You don't need to take her seriously. She doesn't have a leg to stand on in this case, and will definitely lose.

It seems to me that she is trying to cause disruption our of her own insecurity. She might be worried that you DH will get SS's behavior under control and turn him into a "good boy." In BM's eyes, this will only prove what a horrible parent she has been, because she couldn't do the same.

Ninji's picture

She is a piece of work. Anytime DH informs her of something new that SS has done all she says is "he didn't do that at my house" or accuse him of being a bad father and blaming him. She doesn't/won't understand that she had him for 11 years. We can't undo 11 years of her bad parenting in a few months.

The new guy she married has DD4 and DS8. I hope those kids and their BM drive her nuts. LOL

notsobad's picture

BM tried to use “I’ll take you to court” as a tactic to get what she wanted.
At first DH would acquiesce but once I pointed out she had nothing to go to court with he stopped. He’d simply say let me know what the court date is.
It was all empty threats, she never once took him to court.

Thumper's picture

Ninji, how did bm notify him that she was taking him back to court 'again'..

Text, voice mail on his cell, email, certified letter? OR at exchange of kids?

Ninji's picture


Thumper's picture

He could BLOCK her from the cells but first, in writing certified return receipt,

"BM, I am providing you with a 10day notice that starting Feb blah blahh, 2018 you can reach me at 555-1212 if an emergent mater must be discussed about the kids.
Also, this will be the telephone number skids will contact you from.

Signed dh

JMO Ninji

Acratopotes's picture

Tell DH, next time BM says " I will take you to court" he simply replies with... fine see you there....

and keep everything in a file, for the rest ignore her, some people simply think when they tell you, I will take you to court, you are pee-ing your pants and you are scared, but once you turn it on them, they go away.....our BM had this hold over SO for years, till the day she realized I'm not scared of her and when the police knocked on her door for Aergia and the assault charges, BM was the one crying and begging SO to stop me ...
He did ask and I simply replied with... assault is not something stupid, it's in the states hands, I can't do a thing about it anymore...

This is how our system works, assault charges - 10 min after you filed the State takes over and go with it.... and well I filed the charges not to be pursued, they simply did it to scare the crap out of a minor child.