New to step parenting.
Hi I am new to this whole step parent. Technically we are not married yet. But we are engaged. My SO is a single dad raising a toddler with autism. The daughter was taken away from the mother when she was only 3 months old for forgetting to feed her which put her in the hospital. This is her fourth child with autism that was taken away. She was put into foster care until my SO got custody. The mom has no parent rights. She does get supervised 1 hour visits a week though that is forced through DCF. The father hates the mother. And wants me to be a mother towards his daughter. He calls her ours and that really I will be her mom. The mom gets visitation rights to her older kids and gets them on weekend. And her third oldest is put up for adoption. The mother didn't know about me until it was brought up in a meeting with DCF over the phone. And the mom was on it. My SO gave me props on how well I was doing with the daughter and how much she loves me. The mom got mad and asked for more visitation rights. But was told no because of COVID. Right now it's over the phone. And that she was scared that the daughter was going to call me mom. I got upset. Yes I know she is the reall mother but she did this to herself 4 times. And I love this little girl with all my heart. I may not be her biological mother but In every other way I will be. I'm trying to teach her to talk and help her be the best she can be in life. I'm not even focused on her calling me mom. But her just talking. She's 3 and is having trouble reaching her milestones with the autism. But she's so smart. I just have no sympathy for the birth mom. But instead I feel jealous. And I'm angry that I'm jealous. That she gave birth to this beautiful girl and she's not mine. I feel really confused and I'm new to all this. I just wanted to rant really.
Raising a child with Autism
Raising a child with Autism is very challenging depending on where she is on the spectrum- Kudos to you for taking on the challenge!!
My SS is 20. I have only been in his life the last 5 years but he is autistic with a few other issues. His mom has never been in his life either and he tells everyone I am his mom even though he calls me by my name.
You have a long road ahead but seem to have a kind heart! Use this board to help you vent, it really does help sometimes!
I have a step son with autism
I have a step son with autism and downs. I know it bothers his sister and mom that I have a pretty decent relationship with him and he listens to me 99% of the time. Most of the time I'm the one that can get him to go to bed or brush his teeth when no one else can. He actually punched his step dad in the nose when he tried to brush his teeth once. He has also elbowed/punched his mom in the face on multiple occasions. I always explain what I'm doing and I don't take no for an answer. It's always now or in a few minutes.
there is nothing wrong with being that extra parental figure in a step child's life.
Do not give a shit about what
Do not give a shit about what this woman thinks or feels. She has no place in this family. She may be all wrapped around the axle about this child recognizing that she is not the REAL mom and you are.
So, keep being the REAL mom and let this POS fade by the wayside as most POS failed parents often do.
I went through the REAL parent drama with my SS's SpermClan. I raised him as my own, though we did periodically have the REAL parent drama when he would come home from SpermLand visitation after weeks of their manipulative crap. Kids are smart, they know who their REAL parents are. Being a REAL parent has little to do with biology and nearly everything to do with taking the actions of parenting and loving the kid as your own.
In our case, my SS was introduced to the facts and knew them as well as we did, fortuneatly that was far better than any of the shallow and polluted half of his gene pool knew them. As he got older, he was more and more capable of protecting himself from their manipulations and in keeping them firmly in their place. I am his dad and have been since his mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.
He is now 28 and kicking butt in his life as an adult having left the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool far behind. He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen.
Stay the course, raise your Skid, and do not tolerate any crap from the failed family breeding partner of a BM.
Good luck.
Do not give a shit about what
Do not give a shit about what this woman thinks or feels. She has no place in this family. She may be all wrapped around the axle about this child recognizing that she is not the REAL mom and you are.
So, keep being the REAL mom and let this POS fade by the wayside as most POS failed parents often do.
I went through the REAL parent drama with my SS's SpermClan. I raised him as my own, though we did periodically have the REAL parent drama when he would come home from SpermLand visitation after weeks of their manipulative crap. Kids are smart, they know who their REAL parents are. Being a REAL parent has little to do with biology and nearly everything to do with taking the actions of parenting and loving the kid as your own.
In our case, my SS was introduced to the facts and knew them as well as we did, fortuneatly that was far better than any of the shallow and polluted half of his gene pool knew them. As he got older, he was more and more capable of protecting himself from their manipulations and in keeping them firmly in their place. I am his dad and have been since his mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.
He is now 28 and kicking butt in his life as an adult having left the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool far behind. He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen.
Stay the course, raise your Skid, and do not tolerate any crap from the failed family breeding partner of a BM.
Good luck.
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