I belong to a small FB group where people come to shoot the breeze, talk about movies, TV, music, vent about family matters, etc. I've been in the group for a couple of years and feel fairly comfortable jumping in on conversations and even venting about some of my own problems in the appropriate threads.

Well, silly me thought I could safely vent about step life in there. Hahahaha! How naive. Despite being a relatively cool group of people, I was dumbfounded at the BM-centric attitudes of EVERYONE except for two women who were...you guessed it...married to men who had children. I wasn't even as crass as I am in here. I knew I was in "mixed company" so to speak so I really tried to watch what I said. It still wasn't good enough.

Here's the tldr version of my rant:

BM is a piece of trash for reasons x,y,z. I'm so frustrated and sick of the constant attempts at interference in my home life.

Here's the tldr version of the responses from mothers, non-mothers, and people who have no idea what having a BM in your life is like:

1. You should have known when you married DH that you would be in a supportive role to the skid's mother. :jawdrop: No. I support my husband. period.

2. There was a lot of "parenting" talk, as if it was just expected that I have a parental role in those children's lives now that I am married their dad despite them having TWO active parents and me having ZERO legal rights to those kids.

3. BM is the Mother Of His Children and as such will always be a special part of his life. They will always be family since they share children. I really am the outsider to the First Family. Just accept it.

4. She was well within her rights to DEMAND to meet me, I was wrong for refusing to meet her. Those are HER kids after all. Never mind that they are also DH's kids and HE thinks I'm fit to be around them. The mother has rights to know what is going on in my home when her kids are there.

SMH. The only good that came out of all of this was that I identified two women who knew exactly what I was talking about. Women who had been there, done that. Women who had my back in the discussion but whose opinions and experiences were dismissed the same way mine were. I feel like linking them to this site.