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Bradymom's picture

What would it take for you to feel warm towards your step kids.

With me...
They need to stop lying about me to their bio mom. I feel they have a loyalty complex & this is the reason. We are working on it with them & a counselor, but there's a long way to go.

The quote I always use is:


Bradymom's picture

Sometimes a screwdriver really helps the mood. Smile and it's a breakfast beverage too. Ha

Stupidlyoptimistic's picture

OSD is easy to love and get along with. Of course, she's my mini me. Lol. SD7-She's a good kid, but I feel like she's a spy in my home. OSD and DH feel this way, too. Any time OSD talks to us, SD7 is lurking nearby. Creepy! I know it is because BM tells her to report back. We've been told as much by the skids before. SS-He would need to learn respect, manners, etc before I could feel any warmth towards him. He's a brat. I'm almost certain he's showing sociopathic tendencies, but he's waaaay too young to diagnose right now. Ugh!

MamaDuck's picture

Mines a little different, SD is only 4 and cute as a button! She comes jumping in my arms when she arrives and then follows me around like a shadow. (I realize things will change as she grows older, as I'm learning with my own kids lol)

Even though her and I get along, I do hold back, sometimes I do feel myself wanting to be cold towards her, but not because of HER, it's because of her parents.

BM has made it clear that she doesn't want me to have any part in SD's life whatsoever. And sometimes I feel that SO wants to placate BM's wishes (just to keep the peace), so he limits my involvement with SD. And the other reason he might be doing that, he wants to feel more important to SD and feel like the parent, so he wants to do everything for and with SD when she's here, and I TOTALLY understand that.

But for me, to be able to have a warm and open r/s with SD, I'd need for her parents to grow the eff up and realize that they wont lose their precious daughter just because she forms a close r/s with me, I'll never replace either one of them. So for now, I hold back Sad

Bradymom's picture

This is exactly how I feel! I am just another person to love, care & support these kids. Not here to replace. It isn't possible.

MamaDuck's picture

That's really cool! I know it means a lot to kids to have other adults in their life to look up to and trust etc. For me, I HATE SEEING SM kissing my kids, BUT, I would never cause a shit storm over it, at the end of the day, I'm happy my kids have a really good r/s with her, that's more important than my butthurt feelings lol

farting_glitter's picture

a time machine that would take DH back to 2006 when his creature was conceived, so he could stop the outcome of that drunken, high on drugs night .......THAT would make me feel all tingly inside... Smile