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Great with my kids, not with his.

Bradymom's picture

My husband is a great parent to MY KIDS. to his he's an uncle, at best. It's very annoying. I know its bc of the history of parent alienation from bio mom.

In the past when he discussed their relationship, he describes her as a total bitch, that you couldn't say a word or the shit storm she would create was nuts & would go on for weeks or months.

Now he claims he just goes along with whatever she wants bc he's sick of legal battles, just wants peace & does whatever to make it easy on the kids.

But I view it as, she's always devalued him, in marriage, out of marriage, for two decades... So he doesn't value himself as a father & it's hard to watch. I feel like he's neutered, when it comes to her.

Like I said he's great with my kids... To the point my kids adore & value him & they love him like their own dad... His kids see this & they're very jealous. I know it's just another thing to add to the list of why it'll be a miracle if they can function in this world as adults.

Does anyone else have a similar situation? Ugh. I'm so sick of step kids, bio mom... All of it!!!


calm retreat's picture

It takes a lot of strength to let go. A lot of people think that fighting it out all the time is the solution. But with high conflict toxic people it's better to walk away and take a break. The stepkids are better off with less drama. The stepkids have loyalty conflicts due to BM. There is little you can do for them except live as an example of a high functioning, low conflict family with DH and your kids. They may see what's going on over time.