Don’t know what to do anymore
So last night, teenage SS went rummaging around in the kitchen for food in the middle of the night, which he knows he is not allowed to do. He woke me up because the kitchen is right next to our room. So,?ñas DH has asked me to do instead of involving him (and since he was blissfully still asleep), I went out there and confronted the kid and asked him what he was doing. He was all panicked because he knew he wasn't supposed to be in there messing around and, after some stammering, he landed on the excuse that he was looking for water and was like "Did I wake Im you up? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to". I pointed out where the water was (in the fridge like it always is, not the cabinets he had been digging around in) and told him to drink it in the kitchen and leave it there and he agreed. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and it took forever to go back to sleep after that, and I kept hearing him messing around going in and out of his room throughout the night. I mentioned this casually to DH and he didn't really much. Later this afternoon, I got tired from lack of sleep and decided to lie down to nap. But SS is stomping around the house, talking loudly and watch some irritating show too loud on the living room TV so I can't get to sleep and angrily get up to let the dogs out. When I get out there, I see a bunch of kid trash in the floor (this has been a constant problem that DH refuses to address with them) like Capri Sun straw wrappers and peanut butter cracker wrapper. I pick them up and walk over to the kids and say "Please put your trash in the trash can instead of leaving it on the floor. If the dogs try to eat this, it could kill them". And they just act like I said nothing and ignore me. Infuriated and tired, I let the dogs out and go back to my room and cry. I am so sick of putting up with these immature little brats. Their mom lets them do whatever they want and they've turned into wild animals and DH won't get onto them and make them act their age. When I try to say something, they either ignore me or say "I know!". Oh you do? Because you keep doing this constantly! They're both incredib lazy and refuse to keep up with basic hygiene practices. The little one can't even wipe herself correctly and pupils her underwear frequently, which she hides or refuses to wear. She also can't tie her shoes and she's nearly 10. SS smells like hot garbage all the time, refuses to wash his pizza face or greasy hair to the point that we have to force them bathe as soon as they get over here because they're so gross. Anyway, back to when I went back to my room to be ry. DH comes in and asks what's wrong and I explain that I'm frustrated because I got woken up in the middle of the night by kid A doing shit he shouldn't do, then he keeps me awake while I'm trying to nap, then neither kid will listen to me when I ask them to do things, like throw trash in the trash can. I usually internalize this stuff because it makes DH mad but I just couldn't keep it inside anymore and I was obviously upset and crying. He was obviously mad but didn't say much, just started slamming stuff around a bit. Then he left, came back a few minutes later saying he was taking them home (finally, we had been waiting all morning for their mom to respond about them coming back home), and he left. I know he's going to blow up at me when he comes back. I just don't know how to put up with this anymore. I think DH and I are both overwhelmed by the situation and don't know how to deal with these kids who he been ruined by their mom who doesn't care to parent them but sure likes to collect her child support checks. I just needed to get this out, rant, before I get yelled at for being intolerant of these brats. Thanks.